Family Pictures

We finally took family pictures for the first time in 16 years. Here are a few of my favorites --

I know - we really should do it more often!!! We are hawt!!!

I can grow things

Okay, here is the thing... I love lemons. I mean I really love them. I love to eat them, cook with them, decorate with them (fake ones!), etc. So, when we moved to California, I decided that I wanted to grow them! Trent got me a lemon tree for Mother's day one year...ummmmmm, I killed it. I asked for another tree, this time I would do something different, like water it and take really good care of it. Okay, so I got another one...ummmmmmm, I killed that one too. So, again, I asked for yet another one. Trent told me that I would only kill it. So, I asked for an orange tree this time. I don't really like oranges, I never cook with them and I certainly do not have any in my house, but I decided that I was going to grow oranges because I could not grow lemons. Okay, so Trent gets me a new lemon tree and an orange tree. I was so excited. I watered the lemon tree with love (the orange tree got whatever water it got from the sprinklers), I talked with the lemon tree (I hardly even noticed the orange tree much less never said anything to it), I loved that lemon tree (not so much the orange tree). Guess what happened? The lemon tree died ----- but ....
I HAVE FOUR ORANGES ON MY ORANGE TREE!!!!! Who knew.

Babies growing up

Okay, I know that everyone with children has either gone through this or will go through this, but I am telling you, it is harder for me! The reason I say this is because, really, in reality, everyone that I know who reads this blog (not many, just a few friends and family) have more kids than I do. Most of these people have double the kids. I only have two, count them, two itty bitty babies. First, my son goes and grows all up..graduates high school, goes to college, and then has the audacity to turn 19. Secondly, my little baby girl has to go to high school and then she has to turn 16. Really?!? What the heck is this all about? Do my children not realize that I cannot have children as old as them when I too am just in my 20s? What the heck? My BABY, the one who I birthed in a snow storm in the middle of the winter on a cold, cold night (okay, I was in a hospital, it was really only noon, I had a scheduled Cesarean section, but indeed there was snow on the ground the night she was born - 6"). The one who I really can remember 12/04/1992 like it was literaly last week. The one who screamed like an animal and the doctor looked and Trent and said, and I quote, "Good luck with that one!" The one who used to let me braid her hair everyday for school and hold my hand in the parking lot because I was so scared. The one that would write me beautiful little cards when I was sick or even just because. Yes, this is the one who goes and turns 16.

Here are a couple of photos from her party.

This is where is blowing all of those candles

Playing Rock Band


All dressed up for the Hockey Game

Their "nice" sign for the home team

Their "not-so-nice" sign for the opposing team

What a great kid! I love her - more than she even knows.

Thanksgiving Update

Well, just thought I would let everyone know about our Thanksgiving. One word...WONDERFUL! I cooked my 7th turkey of my life and frankly it was one of the best. I shoulda snapped a picture, but I did not, so you all will just have to take my word that it was a great looking as well as great tasting turkey! The fixings all turned out wonderful too.

The best part was that my family was all together again. It will be three years (my son will be on a church mission the next two) before my family is together again for Thanksgiving, so it made this one that much more special. I cannot really talk about the mission just yet, it kinda hurts my heart.

After dinner and games, we decided to go to a movie. We all saw "Australia." One word... WONDERFUL!! I did not really want to see it...long, epic type films are usually not my forte, but this was a really good movie. I am glad we saw it.

My son, daughter, and husband all went shopping on Black Friday! This is one of my favorite things to do. My husband and I have done this for years and years, but this year the kids wanted to come along. Needless to say, we did not get out early, so our Denny's breakfast was a bust, but we did end up having a very nice lunch. I did end up doing a lot of shopping on Friday and Saturday, so that is really good news.

I had it all planned out that we were going to finally get another family photo (the last one Garrick is sitting on my lap and Natalie is about 6 months old - Yikes that is way old!!) but alas, this too did not work out.  We will go the day Garrick gets back for Christmas. They wont be Christmas photos, but I think I am okay with that.

Okay, just a couple of more facts before I leave. My mother's birthday was yesterday, she turned 66!!! Happy birthday Mom. My grandfather's 86th birthday would have been tomorrow, but instead the 1-year anniversary of his death is on the 6th. Sad. (I still miss you and think about you Grandpa, you are alive and well in my dreams). Lastly, my sweet, sweet baby girl turns 16 on the 4th. Wow, that makes me old. Happy Sweet 16th dear, sweet, baby girl Natalie.

That's all Folks

Good news...bad news

Let us start out with something happy for a change...My son, my firstborn, my first baby has arrived home. It's funny because he really has not been gone long enough to "change," however, he has!! I think he grew an inch and gained some life experiences. What a wonderful joy to see him again. He leaves on Sunday, 11/30, but then comes back on 12/13. So we get just a small break. I am glad he is home and I am glad to have the whole family together again.

I guess they say bad things happen in threes. First Garrick left, then Cookie, and now my friend Frannie is leaving California. I have not known her very long but a church calling, a very busy, very active, totally involved church calling, brought us together. Being in the Young Woman's Stake Presidency is not an easy job and every one in the presidency has to work together, trust each other, and get along. This one worked. From the very beginning when we all four got together, it just worked. Everyone takes on their job (I am usually the slacker!!) and we do it. Things get done, things that once were thought impossible, get done. Through laughing and crying, things got done. As much is Fran is going to be missed in our callings, I will miss her that much more as a friend.

Rest in Peace

Goodbye sweet, sweet Cookie girl. We will miss you more than you know.



I will tell this story when I can, but I cannot right now. My heart is breaking, my tears are flowing, my life is emptier.

Mama's Little Fortune Cookie
aka Cookie Louise Wood
07/03/1997 - 11/15/2008

Two things...

I just wanted to post two real quick things. They are just things that people said recently that made me happy and made me think.

The first thing was said by a really good friend. Natalie and I went to a Young Woman In Excellent program for a ward not our own. I am in the Stake YW presidency and so I get the wonderful privilege of attending these functions. Natalie came with me because Trent was working and she did not want to stay by herself. My friend looked over at Natalie and I and said something about how wonderful my relationship is with my daughter. I lied and said it was fake. She laughed and said there was no way this kind of relationship could be fake. Natalie and I are always laughing, joking, even making snide remarks about eachother all of the time, but I seriously consider Natalie to be my best friend. I know she will always tell me the truth when I ask her if I look fat in something - lol - and I know, at least I think, she can and will come to me about anything. I love her and am so very grateful that Heavenly Father let me have her!

The second thing is just a thought. In RS yesterday our lesson was, round-aboutly, about why bad things happen to good people. Do we murmur, do we take it, do we pray, do we ask for help, do we move on, do we harbor bad feelings, etc. One sister spoke about a time she went to her bishop years ago about a bad time she was having and how maybe she coulda, shoulda, woulda made it different. That bishop asked her if she remembered the Primary song about the wise man and the foolish man. He told her, "They both got rained on." This statement just made me stop and think...we are all given things to bear, some good, some bad, it is how we manage it that matters.

Quiet...Testing

I went to my daughter's school today to have a meeting with her and her counselor. It was a typical meeting making sure that my high school student is on the right track and will graduate when she is suppose to. Blah, blah, blah. Anyway, while I was sitting there waiting for the counselor, there was a door with a sign on it that read, "Quiet...Testing." This brought back memories from grade school. I'm not really sure why, but it did. I guess that was probably the last time I saw a sign that said that, I dunno. This made me wonder whether a sign like this helps. I wonder if people walking by look at the sign and start to whisper. I imagine some people would be quiet, some would not. It is like if you see a yellow light, some hit the brake, some hit the gas. If there is something on sale at the store and there is only one item left, some will take it, some will leave it. If there is a piece of trash on the ground, some will pick it up, some will step over it. If someone falls, some will help, some will laugh. But, it is the mere suggestion of "Quiet...Testing" that makes us who we are.

PS - Cookie is having a pretty good day today. No rain, so the air is a little drier and it makes it easier for her to breath. She seems to be a little happier today. YAY!!!!!! :-)

I may never feel happy again

Okay, the blues just keep on coming. First Garrick and now my sweet, sweet baby Cookie. Cookie has been sick for a few weeks, really bad the last two days. We took her to the vet yesterday and her breast cancer (which was removed in 2006) has metastasized to her lung. The tumor has almost filled the entire lung and is probably pushing on the other one and limiting the intake of air on the good lung.

We have to put her down. Neither Trent or I can do this. I cannot stand to see her suffer but my heavens, I cannot let the vet put stuff into her veins to kill her. I know the right thing and I will eventually do this, but I am so afraid to do it too soon or to wait too long.

We have had her since she was just a little, bitty puppy and she is now 11-1/2 years old. She sleeps with me and keeps my company when I am alone. I already miss her so much. I hope she finds kitties to chase and fields to run in.

Homesick

I am in a weird place right now. I feel....homesick. But the thing is, I am home. I have been contemplating this for a while, this being homesick thing. Are any of us really home? Where is home? Home is where the heart is, but what if your heart is in a million places? Okay, not a millions, but a few hundred! I have pieces of my heart in Idaho, New Mexico, Utah, and here in California. Although my home is currently here in California, I believe that probably left my heart in New Mexico.

Given all this, it has made me even think more on a spiritual level. I guess home, our true home, would be with our Heavenly Parents. I cannot image the pain our Parents must have been in when They said those last good-byes and gave a hug and a kiss on the cheek and then sent us out the door. They asked for so little from us - keep in touch, be careful, and We will see you when you return. I get so excited when I get a text message from either Garrick or Natalie or when I see their numbers on the caller ID. I love to hear about their days and their lives. I image our Heavenly Father feels the exact same way when we get on our knees and tell him about our day. I can imagine Him beaming just a bit when we truly thank Him for all of our blessings and when we let Him know that are okay and are really trying our best. He is just waiting, as spiritually we all are, for us to return home.

I hope I make it there.

Ouchie

Okay, so, I finally realized the major difference between a man and a woman. LOL. Yesterday, Trent was outside pruning an overgrown bush in the front yard when he comes in and says, very calmly I might add, "Hey, I cut my arm and I think I may need stitches." I get up from work and go look. "Oh yeah," I say to him, "You definitely need stitches." The wound was only about 1/2" long but it was gaping to about 1". You could definitely see the "meat" inside and it was bleeding pretty bad. We talked about it and he decided to drive himself to the doctor's office and get it taken care of.

Okay, now back to my original sentence...oh my heck, if I would have cut my arm I would have been screaming from the top of my lungs, jumping around from the pain, and for sure crying my eyes out. I would have been hopping up and down begging someone to please just cut my whole arm off because I could not stand the pain!!! I certainly would not have driven myself to the doctor, I don't care who had to work or whatever! I would not have fixed dinner for a week and I would have asked for Vicodin for the pain that the three stitches caused. I also would be telling all of my friends so they could feel sorry for me and maybe cook me dinner or buy me a candle or something!! I am pretty sure that I would not have gotten out of bed today and I am pretty sure that my whole arm would be wearing a big ol' bandage!!



Here is a picture of the three stitches on his arm. Youchie!!!

Tomorrow is the BIG day

Well, this time has arrived, like it or not. We take our son to college tomorrow. My heart is very heavy right now. The tears flow occasionally throughout the day. I am not sure I am strong enough to do this. I tell myself that I have to be strong, at least in front of Garrick... I don't want him to see me cry, I don't want him to feel guilty about moving on with his life. Truly, I am so happy for him, I am happy that he has this wonderful opportunity to go to college on scholarship, that he is going with a great friend, that he is going to a school that he really wanted to go to, that he is growing up, that he has his whole life to look forward to. However, packing him up yesterday was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I thought sending him to kindergarten was hard, or even the first grade was hard. I thought moving him to another state was hard. I thought seeing him enter high school was hard and taking that first drive with his new license without me was hard. Watching him graduate high school was so very hard. But this, compares to nothing. I don't think I can do this. Frankly, I am having such a hard time with this that I am not sure how I am going to do the mission thing. The only thing that I think is going to be worse than this day, and mission day, is when Natalie leaves for school too.

Society has failed me

What happened to the good 'ol days? I don't mean the days of yesteryear, I frankly just mean like 5 years ago. Why has society decided that they have the right to take whatever they see within reach and take it? Why has society decided that is okay to take other people's property? When did society decide that being in possession of other's property is acceptable?

Okay, maybe not in all places but definitely here where I live. Last night Natalie had volleyball practice and I have a summer cold (oh my heck, who in their right mind gets a cold in the middle of a heat wave? Really?!? It is 102 degrees outside and I am in the house with a sore throat and a runny nose) and I went to pick her up and I was just exhausted, so I decided that I was going to cook Subway for dinner. We went, with Garrick too, and ordered our sandwiches, grabbed our chips and our drinks, and we were out of there. We get to the car, like 15 feet from the front door, and Natalie says, "Oh my phone, I left it in there." I told her to run back in and get it. She did, and low and behold it was gone. WHAT?!?!? I called her phone from my phone so she could find it, but it was gone. There was like 4 people in there and of course none of them saw anything. I went in and kinda threw a fit (Trent said if he would have been there, the cops would have been called...he really knows how to throw a fit!!) and asked those people in there. Again, no was saw a phone. I cannot even begin to describe how frustrated I am. I have chased people down to their cars when I see they have left something on the counter, I mean literally. Once at Kohl's a lady left her drivers license beside the credit card slide thing, I picked it up and ran out to the parking lot and found her and gave it to her. She was less than thankful, but that was beside the point, I know I had saved her from a hassle of getting a new license.

Maybe I could see past it (not really, but I am trying) if it were some homeless person who took it to sell for his next meal. But there was not one person in there that needed that phone more than us. That was Natalie's phone...her brand new phone. You know, the one that set me back $100 and a two-year contract! I am just stunned that whoever took it thought that it was okay. When did it become okay to take something that is not yours? Really? You see something on the counter or floor or parking lot that is not yours and you really think it is okay to just pick it up and put it in your pocket? Who raised these people? I know, you really can't blame the parents, but here is a story for you...A couple of years ago my friend down the street had one of her kids bikes stolen right from their front porch. It was definitely a kids bike, not an adults. So, this kid who stole the bike goes home and what, tells his parents someone gave him a bike? Maybe he found it. I don't know, but my common sense is going to tell me to ask a bunch of questions. If indeed my kid "found" or was "given" a new bike, I am going to investigate a bit. I cannot even fathom the idea of my children coming home with something new that was "given" to them without finding out more details.

Anyway, I am ranting. But I am mad. Now I have to replace Natalie's phone, and because there is no new two-year contract, I have to pay full price for a phone or cancel the contract and pay the penalty. My daughter, and son for that matter, has a phone so I can get a hold of her when I need to. The phone is not really for them, although that is a cool benefit for them, the phone is for me. I want to know where they are, what they are doing, and when they will be back. Ooopsss, there is the rant again... okay, I am done.

What is going on now?

Well, as I sit here at the computer, I am suppose to be working, but alas, I am not. Why is that? Why do I sit here at my desk day in and day out and fight work? If I were to just sit here and work I could probably be done in 4 hours or so...but nooooOOOoooo, I sit here and go to the internet, go check my E-mail, find coupons, check everyone's blog, google, I do absolutely everything not to work. The fact is, however, that at the end of the day, I have have sat at this desk, looking at this screen for 8 to 10 hours a day and I am so sick of sitting here I could scream. Again, if I were to just do my work, I could go do fun stuff for the rest of the day. I know this to be true because there are times that I need to get my work done in a hurry because of a doctor's appointment, school function for my kids, or something else and I do, but for the most part, I sit here and put off work and then wonder where the day went!

A couple of things with the kiddos -- Natalie started school on Monday! Yeah!! She is a sophomore this year (I can still remember her first day of kindergarten, where has the time gone?!?). She has started conditioning for volleyball and is looking forward to that fun! Today was the first day of seminary (early morning - 6:00am) and she was up and ready to go without a fight - what a girl! She had a bad morning yesterday and was kinda mean and rude to me but the first thing she did after she walked in the door was give me a big hug and say she was sorry - ahhhhhh, I know, how lucky am I? What a wonderful young woman! Garrick is getting ready for college (again - time - where did it go?). I think he is getting a little nervous, maybe a little apprehensive, but he is keeping his cool, especially with the mom and dad! What a wonderful adventure for him. I am so excited and so scared and so nervous and so happy and so sad all at the same time. He was made an Elder in the church a few weeks ago and yesterday he and his dad went to a sister's house and he stood in for his first blessing. What a wonderful young man.

I often ask myself what in the heck I did to have such wonderful kids - the fact is, I have no idea, but I am so glad that I do. Don't get me wrong, they certainly have their moments and they are in no way perfect, but - in all honesty, they are to me. I wish I had a few more - but that is another story all in its own.

Speaking of being lucky - I thought I would take this opportunity to say how wonderful my husband is too. He recently broke a couple of ribs at work, but he did not let that stop him. He continues to provide for his family and continues to be the perfect head of the house.

Now, I just need to work on myself!! I need to be a better person, less judgmental, less mean, more fun, more positive. Maybe, I will start today! LOL - maybe, I will start tomorrow!! It is already almost 10:00am and I have yet to type ONE word for work...not one word, I barely even opened up my programs. The funny thing is (or perhaps the very, very sad thing is) that I have sat here at the computer since around 7:00am this morning - 3 hours and no work to show for it. This is pathetic!

Okay - now I am going to close this up and type for $$.

Just a day off

I am a little sad and a little lonely, so this post will reflect those feelings!

Okay, so it was the 4th of July. Who cares. Really. It was just a day off for me. Albeit, a well-deserved day off. Here's the thing...our ward had a great bar-b-que that afternoon. That was great. I love seeing my church friends in a social situation and I love just to sit and chat. My husband had to go early so "reserve" the park (4-hours early, but whatever), so I kinda missed him that morning. My son had friends spend the night, so they were off and out of the house early and to the park to be first in line for the food. My daughter and I went to the park together. We waited for the little kids to get off the swings and then we swung. That was perfect. She said the best thing to me, she said something like while all the other mothers has just let their kids to swing or whatever, I was the only mother to go and swing with her. She said I was like her best friend. Ahhhh, I know. Anyway a little later on after eating, my son and his friends left and a few minutes later my daughter wanted me to take her home (you have to kinda feel bad for my Nattie because there are no girls her age in our ward. She is usually way the older one there) because she was not having any fun. I did and came back and sat and chatted with my husband and my friends. We were one of the last three couples to leave the park.

Okay, so, my son continues to stay with friends that whole night and my daughter went to a friends house and my husband had to go to work. So, again, here I was alone in this great big house. I had work to do, but it was a holiday after all and why would I want to sit at this computer anyway.

Saturday...same day, same crap. Garrick was out and about with his friends. I made Natalie go to the grocery store with me because I HATE to go by myself (I am getting a little anxiety over this fact, because in a few years I will have to go by myself or starve - but that is another subject). Later on, she went to a friends and Trent went to work. See a pattern here. Again, all alone. Some people, especially younger mothers, would love the time alone, but not me. I never have. Again, I sat by myself with nothing to do (I think I need a hobby) and waited for my kids to come home. That is how I spend most of my time, waiting for my kids and/or husband to come home so I am not alone.

All-in-all, it was a good weekend (if only you could see me write that sentence, you would so know that I was lying!!) No, it really was. I am glad to live in a place were one day we can shoot off fireworks and light up the sky and then two days later we can go to the church of our choice and worship as we please.

feelings

This is what my eyes saw:



This is what my heart felt:

All I could remember when I saw my baby getting his diploma was where the heck was that little guy I held in my arms over 18 years ago?!? I ask myself if I had a magic wand would I do it all over again? Of course I would. All the tears, all the laughs, all the good times, all the bad times -- I would do all again. I miss not holding my little guy in my arms. The only thing I would change would be those times when I was a little too busy to stop what I was doing to look down and tell my son how I love him or to stop what I was doing (dishes really can wait) to play on the floor more than I did or to stop what I was doing to push him just a little bit higher for a little bit longer or to make time to go to the park today or... the list can go on and on. I hope I did okay. I hope he can look back and say, yes mom, you did okay. Though I have not officially said good-bye to him yet, I can already tell it is the hardest thing I have ever done. What the heck am I going to do in 3 years when Natalie does all this?

Great (but very, very sad) Day!

My son's graduation:

Too busy to type

Man, I have been really busy the last 5 or 6 weeks. My job has taken over my entire life and the extra time that I have, not much, my church calling is filling in. The last thing I want to do is sit and type some more!

I did want to write about some feelings I had a couple of weeks ago. It was fast Sunday last week in church and I was really inspired. One gentleman got up and beared his testimony and he had stated that his wife had passed away exactly a year ago that day. I remember his wife and I remember the battle with cancer and I remember her leaving 2 beautiful, young ladies behind. It was very sad when she passed away. He was talking about her and the battle with the cancer. He said that they had prayed and fasted and prayed and fasted for a recovery, but there was none. They did not, however, lose faith, in fact, their faith was overflowing. He said that finally about a week or so before she died, they fasted and prayed for "God's will to be done." It's not that they had given up, but they felt that it was just time. She died peacefully in her sleep. I found great solitude in this testimony. I have prayed and fasted for something for a while and I keep fasting and praying and hoping and wishing, but maybe I just need to pray for God's will to be done. I think I need to stop trying to force what I want and just accept what my Heavenly Father has in store for me. This is harder said than done, however, and I, unlike more faithful, more trusting people, have found that perhaps my faith is lacking a bit. I am afraid to put this into God's hands because the outcome may not, probably will not, be what I want or what I think I need. It's scary to think that I am not in charge, then I laugh at myself and realize I am NOT in charge. I think Heavenly Father does not want to disappoint me, but I truly feel His plans are not my plans. I think He has been waiting for me to have this epiphany.

Now, that I have made the conscious decision to not push my will, I feel....free. I feel okay with His decision. I feel like for the first time in years and years I can go ahead and put things behind me and look forward to my future. My son is graduating in less than 3 weeks and then going to Provo to school in August. My daughter is starting to drive and her life is taking her in great directions. There are a lot of positive things going on in my life and in the lives of those around me. I am not going to lie, these are hard changes -- knowing your children are growing up and moving on, it scares me. Thank goodness I have a great guy who I know will be there and will always pick me up and perhaps even carry me on those really hard days. I can do this!!

Home from the Big D

Well we were in Disneyland last week! I am so glad to be home, but I am terribly missing the family I had to say goodbye to again.

This vacation was a little bittersweet for me. My son will be going to college in the fall and then off on a mission in January. So, all in all, this was the last time my family, as it is today, will have a vacation. This really is sad for me. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love that my kids are growing up and doing their own things, but man, I am going to miss the time we spend together. I know that my son, and later in a few years my daughter, have to go on and live their own life, but how I wish things could just stay the same for a little while longer. I am already feeling this "empty nest" thing and I hate it. Trent said on the way home that next time we all will be together at Disneyland again, we will be there with our grandkids. As much as I love that thought, it still makes me sad to know this was the last family vacation with my son, my daughter, my husband, and myself.

I have to laugh at myself...I must be some wacko to come home from the happiest place on earth crying.

waiting to be found

When we are searching for something, needing something
Why does it always feel just past your fingertips?
We can see it, in our dreams and thoughts, but we cannot feel it.
We say a small prayer, whispering coming from our lips.

We can see the shadow far away on the horizon.
We long for the days, the hours, the minutes.
We know the journey is long, we know the journey is far.
We start to worry, we know there are limits.

We wake up from that dream, startled and searching.
We are looking and wondering where was the sound.
We find nothing because nothing is lost.
Simply because we are waiting to be found.

vlw

75% Better

Okay, so I went to the eye doctor yesterday and he told me that I was about 75% better. I was a little shocked, I feel like about 95% better!! He said I still have some healing to do. Man, one drug and all this mess.

News on the home front --
Garrick is doing good. He is working on the last steps of his Duty to God award. This was a lot easier than the Eagle Scout award. He is working and going to school and preparing to go to college this fall (this still makes me a little sad :-(). He has been nominated for Prom King!
Natalie is doing fantastic in school, bringing up all of her grades! She is playing softball on the JV team this year. They are 3-1. They lost last night 7 to 9, close game. Natalie who usually plays first has been playing catcher for this team but last night she played short. I must say, she is a natural athlete because she has never played short before and made some pretty impressive plays...a lot of the score book read 6-2 and 6-3 (6 is short, 2 is catcher, 3 is first - those would be throws for outs!). She also hit the ball like a pro - I told her on her last bat up that center was asleep. She acknowledged this and promptly hit the ball right over center fielders head! Who ever said she does not listen to her mom!!
Trent and I are the same. Always the same. Busy with work and busy with church.

We have a big vacation coming up soon. I don't want to spoil anything but it is just a small world!

Finally better

Okay, here's the deal. I have been really, really sick since 02/12/08 and nothing has really been done to help me. Let me start from the beginning - I will make this a short version. On 02/12/08, I went to the doctor for a check up and was having some problems. She gave me a prescription to start taking. That night I went to New Beginnings with Natalie but I was feeling kinda bad, but mainly my eyes were really red. The next next, I continued with the medication, and I got sicker and sicker. My eyes were by far the worst, but the nausea, vomiting, vertigo, and headache were pretty bad also. That night, or actually it was Thursday morning (happy Valentine's day to me) I woke my husband up and made him take to the emergency room, my eyes were like on fire and it felt like thorns were under my eye lids. I could not open them, I could not close them, I was in severe pain. I was living in a complete fog. The emergency room doctor made an appointment for me later in the morning with an ophthalmologist for an examination. I went and saw this physician on Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Monday (this was Presidents day but she opened up just for me). In the meantime, I had stopped taking the medication prescribed by the other doctor because frankly I was just too sick to care. By that Friday, I was finally working on being better. But still not 100%. My eyes were very, very blurry but not as cloudy as they had been. This continued on. On Monday, March 3, I went ahead and started taking that same medication again. Low and behold, 3 hours after the only dose, my eyes were red, painful, and my vision was cloudy again. I called the ophthalmologist and she assured me that this was not a side effect of this medication that I must just be having allergies or whatever again. I almost died. I know it was the medication, come on 2 hours after taking it I was right back where I started from. Again in pain with the same exact symptoms, I decided I had to do something else. So, I called my regular ol' eye doctor. He promptly called me back and I told him the above story. He wanted to see me right away, I could not drive, so I had to wait for Garrick to get home. Garrick came home and drove me over to his office and in the meantime, he had done some research on the medication I was taking. He told me I was not crazy (which frankly I really thought I was) and he helped me out. The ophthalmologist had told me NOT to put my contacts in for a month. My regular eye doctor, told me to put contacts in right away. In fact, he put in a brand new pair at his office for me. He said this was like a bandage and would stop the pain which was being caused by the irritation of the eyelid when I opened and closed my eyes. So, the verdict is that that medication I was taking caused - Xerostomia or dry mouth. This affected not only my mouth but also my eyes. Anyway, it is now Thursday and I am practically back to normal.

I guess this goes to show you that the person with the M.D. behind her name did not really listen to me and I frankly think she did not really care. The other guy, just the regular ol' optometrist, did research, brought me in right away, called me the next day and even the next next day to see how I was doing, and listened to me as a person. Thank you Dr. Vanover for caring about me.

(Sorry, so much for the short version!!)

Crystal Ball

Some days I wish I could see into the future. Not for stock market quotes (although that would be a great side benefit!) but just to make sure that the decisions I am making now are the right ones. I would like to make sure that my kids really did turn out okay and those things I have done to them over the yeas (making them clean their rooms, fold the laundry, vacuum the floors, etc) did not really scar them in any way. Seeing my son go to school, go on his mission, and find that perfect girl, etc. Seeing my daughter finish high school, go onto college, and find that perfect man. Making sure that all those people who told me how great grandkids were, were not lying! I would like to see if I cut my hair, how bad would it really look. I would like to see if I did diet and work out every, single day, would it really help? I would like to know that me choosing to use re-usable grocery store bags has indeed saved a tree or two. I would like to know that if I did return to school in my 40s, what exactly would be the benefit.

My husband...Trent

Apparently, I have been tagged! Here you go...

What is your husband's name? William Trent Wood (he goes by Trent)
How long have you been married? 20 years in May!
How long did you date? We dated...15 months.
How old is he? He is currently 45, I am much younger ;-)
Who eats more sweets? It depends on the sweets, chocolate - me, cupcakes - me, sweet rolls - me, cake - Trent, ice cream - Trent.
Who said I love you first? We have had many discussions on this topic, I say him he says me.
Who can sing best? We both totally suck at singing. But I must be worse because in church, my kids beg me not to sing!
Who is smarter? I think we are both pretty smart. He knows more technical things whereas I know more .... other things?!?!
Who does the laundry? Okay, the truth is, Trent does more laundry.
Who pays the bills? Trent pays the bills.
Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? While lying in bed, I am on the right.
Who mows the lawn? Trent does -- actually that is why we had kids!!
Who cooks dinner? Dinner?!? People actually cook that themselves?
Who drives? Trent physically drives, but we all know who really controls the car!!
Who is the first to admit they are wrong? Wrong?!? What is that? :-)
Who is more stubborn? Trent is more stubborn.
Who kissed who first? Who could possibly remember something from 21 years ago? But I would venture to say it was Trent who kissed me.
Who asked who out? Trent asked me out...our first date was on Valentines!
Who wears the pants? We both do, we make decisions together

Where has the time gone?

When I was a child I remember my parents always saying something like, "Where has the time gone?" or "I can't believe it is Christmas again." or "Where did 1985 go?". I catch myself saying those same exact things now. My husband, Trent, just said yesterday, "Do you know Saturday is the First of March?" I replied, "NO WAY?!?!" My first born baby, my son, will be graduating high school in May. How is that possible? Is he not still that little baby that I brought home from the hospital? That cute little toddler who always wanted "morn"? How is it possible that I can remember almost every single day of his life, but it does not feel anywhere near 18 years? Same goes with my baby girl. She informed me that she is going to be a Laurel this year. WHAT?!?! When did that happen? I can remember every single day of her life as well, everything.

The funny thing is that I really still feel young. I feel like I am just newly married, in my early 20s - that is, until I look in a mirror! I look at my kids and wonder exactly whose kids those are - mine are still babies - that is, until they call me mom. I can relate to Vip Van Winkle...it seems like just yesterday I was young with babies and no gray hair and then I woke up today with grown adults in my house and wrinkles.

My children

I don't know why, I can't explain it, but I have had just the best time with my kids the last few days. We have always been close and have always had fun, but lately, this has been bumped up a notch.

Yesterday, while sitting in church, my son leaned over to me and said, you know I have only like 142 days till I go to BYU. I laughed and said, "Well, son, that is good!" He laughed and said he knew. He has been offered a big scholarship with room and meals at SUU, but he does not want to go there. I keep telling him that we are sending him there because its practically free!! This is just our little banter. He will purposely start taking about BYU causing me to say something about SUU. He will laugh and say its BYU or death! I tell him to keep pushing it buddy!!! The California State schools also have offered him big things to go to their schools, but of course, he is having no part of that. This has just become a fun part of my day. Almost everyday, when I least expect it, my son will say something, ever so slightly, about BYU! I love him.

My daughter and I went phone shopping on Saturday. Her phone is dead. We parked outside of the company and we went to get out of the car. My car has automatic door locks, so when I put it in Park, the doors unlock. My Natalie had her hand on the handle ready to practically jump out as soon as I stopped the car and when the doors unlocked, the unlock thingie slid into her finger. She jumped back and yelled ever so slightly owwwww. I looked at her thinking she had just been shocked or something. I asked what happened. She started laughing and pointed to the door lock. I started laughing. We both had tears going down our cheeks cracking up! After laughing so hard we could hardly breathe, we stepped out of the car and started to go into the store and which point I made some off-the-wall comment about not getting her finger stuck in this door and then I snorted! This started the laughing train all over. I love her.

I wish I had a few more children to love like I do these two. I have so much fun with them and they are so .... perfect, I just love them. I am not asking for a lot, really, just another son and another daughter. I know I was suppose to have a large family, I know this with all my heart, but something went wrong somewhere. I just hope those other children of mine will wait for me to return home to them someday.

Winterfest Duchess 2008

My beautiful daughter, Natalie, was nominated to be Winterfest Duchess 2008 at her school. I guess the teachers nominate the students and then the student body gets to vote. There were three freshman nominated for this duchess award. Natalie did not win. I think I was more disappointed than she was. I really wanted her to win. She is beautiful and fun and funny and warm and good-hearted and sincere. She was okay with not winning and said it was an honor to just to be nominated. I am very proud of her for being such a wonderful person. She certainly has taught me an important lesson. I love her.

Patience is a virtue

Whoever said "Patience is a virtue" obviously never had to wait for anything. It seems as I have grown older, the waiting time of everything is much longer. When I walk into a grocery store and see three lines open with 14 people in each line, I literally have a small anxiety attack. When in the doctor's office, sick, the last thing you want to do is wait and they have a real racket -- wait in the waiting room and then wait again in the examining room. Waiting for a red light to turn green. Waiting for the kids to come home from school so I wont be so alone. Waiting for that busy signal on the other end of the phone to stop. Waiting for the mail. Waiting for the weekend.

I have been waiting for something very specific for over a year now and wonder how much longer I will have to wait. Actually wondering IF I can wait any longer. Wondering if this is going to happen and if so, when. Can I wait longer? Can I? Waking up every day and knowing this will be the day - going to bed every night hoping tomorrow will be the day. Seeing the minutes, the hours, the days go by so fast that you can hardly breathe. Hoping time will slow down so you can catch up, yet hoping tomorrow will hurry and come for another chance. When? When? When will the time come to fulfill my dreams? Or will it ever come. Time will only tell, however, one must have the patience to wait.