Up To Dating....

I have decided not to do a "Two for Tuesday" post tomorrow, so I thought I would do a quick blog today.

I am not sleeping well. I guess I probably haven't slept really good...I don't know, since January?!? Yes, unfortunately, it has been that long. I might even venture out and say a little before then. It takes me a while to finally fall asleep and then I will either be awoken by a bad dream or the fact that my brain has decided to overtake my sleep and put thoughts into my head. I decided that I think too much. I guess this might be good if the thoughts were like on...say....world peace? Or perhaps, solving today's economic issues? Or maybe even a magic weight loss pill! But, no, my thoughts are not productive at all. One thought leads to another which leads to another to another to another....it's an endless cycle.

Fred and Ethel (my beautiful Blue Jays) are back in my backyard. I have missed them. I have not heard the chirping of baby birdies yet...I hope I hear it soon. The first year Fred and Ethel were here, their babies did not make it; I think it was just too cold for them or something. That would have been the year my son graduated high school. The next year, we had babies! All survived, I believe, but one. One little baby fell out of the nest. Last year, I was so worried about the babies...it was so windy one day, they blew out of the nest! Fred and Ethel worked so hard to try to get them back in the nest, but they were pretty big. We had Maggie then, so I kept her in the house for the afternoon whilst Fred figured out how to get his family all together. I am not sure exactly what happened, but after returning home from whatever event, the babies were safely back in the nest. This year, though I have not really looked too hard, I cannot find the nest, though I know it exists, so I have not been able to see if there are eggs or babies yet. I will make that a project this week. I did (okay Trent did, sue me) clean out the bird bath and give them a fresh drink. Welcome home, Fred and Ethel.

Finished up my latest knitting project...another throw for a wedding. If I have to say so myself, and I do, it is the best work I have done to date! The throw is absolutely beautiful. The colors are warm and neutral. It is really, really pretty. I hope the people I am giving it to love it as much as I do! There is a camera issue (Natalie!!), so as soon as it is resolved I will post pictures so you, too, can be amazed at my beautiful handiwork! I will also get a picture of Trent's Giant's scarf and perhaps by then, Natalie's scarf will be done.

One last thought...I hate my phone. I mean, I really hate it! I have had phones in the past that I was like...eh. But this phone, I hate! I should have never gotten rid of my Blackberry -- I loved that phone! It was the perfect size and my fingers fit on the keyboard perfectly and I liked the way it felt in my hand. This stupid Droid....I can't think of anything I like about it! I hate it. I hate everything about it. I never slide out the keyboard because I hate the keyboard. It has an auto correct and it always auto corrects "you" for "You". I don't know why, but having a capital "Y" in the middle of my sentence drives me nuts! I "dropped" it the other day...it still works! LOL! I told Trenty that in August when the new iPhone comes out, I am so getting one! Kinda funny thing I do...when people ask if I like I, I always tell them that I LOVE it...let them figure it out for themselves! I should hardly be the only miserable Droid owner! LOL!!!

Well...I am glad I got to spend part of my Monday here. Someone once told me writing is a good release, they were right!

XOXO

Two for Tuesday...

Have I mentioned that I am dreading Tuesday's now?!?

1) Maggie. Maggie makes me happy. She knows when I am sad. Earlier I was having a moment and there were tears rolling down my cheeks. I was not bawling or anything, just crying a bit. Maggie comes up to my desk, pushes my chair back a little, and puts her precious little head on my thigh. She looked up at me and her eyes told me that all would be okay. Last night I sat on the floor for a moment and instantly, she comes and literally sits on my lap! I kinda pushed her away and, of course, she came charging back. She then gave me tons of kisses and tail whipped me! Maggie, my doggie, she makes me very happy.

2) Perfect timing. Fate, if you will. Here is a charming little story that makes me happy....My mother and her brother had not spoken to each other in years, close to 30. I missed having my cousins growing up past the age of 12 and I, of course, missed having an uncle and aunt in my life. I had kept in moderate contact with my aunt; we would exchange the brief email, an occasional happy birthday, and perhaps a holiday card or two. I kept her apprise of most of the family things. Last year, in May, my grandmother fell and hurt her tailbone; it was at that time, while in the hospital, her dementia was revealed. I think we all knew that it was getting worse, but until she was in an unfamiliar area with people around who she did not know, it was not as evident. It was a hard decision for my mother and father to make, but the time had come to put her in a home. They spent countless hours trying to get the state to take care of my grandmother and get all the paperwork in order and get her situated. During this time, I, of course, would email my aunt as well as my cousins and keep them all apprised of my grandmama. Out of the blue, I received an email from my uncle, which was very unusual. He asked what he thought about him seeing his mother (after 30 years). I, not as good at hiding my excitement as I could have been, emailed him back and kinda chastised him for waiting this long and that I felt it was a wonderful idea. It was good for him, for his mother, for me, and especially for my mother.

My uncle and aunt drove to Farmington one weekend in June 2010...Natalie I drove the same weekend from California for this brief, but so appropriately timed (hang in there...this will be explained in a minute!) reunion. My uncle had never met my now 17-1/2-year-old daughter and had not known me as an adult. He saw his mother, who unfortunately had no idea who he was. I think, perhaps (perfect timing?) that it was probably best that way. My grandmother is not a forgiving person and holds many a grudge...and....well, my uncle is her son! He saw her and told her the things he needed to. All was well. My uncle and aunt stayed for a little while that day and caught up and chatting with the fam fam. It was a good day. I might say it was a terrific day. I might even go to say it was one of three of the best days I had last year.

Approximately 6 weeks later, my father passed away.

Okay...so, now I really need Maggie!!!!

I have no doubt in my mind that my Heavenly Father played a hand in all of that. It had been 30 years and nothing, not even a desire. Then, one day, my uncle reunites with his family. Then, 6 weeks later, my mother needs her family more than she ever has. My brother and his family were there, me and my family were there...and her brother and sister-in-law were there.

Since that time, my uncle and my mother have spent much time together. My mom will call and tell me what Uncle Bobby said or what he did or what he wants to do. I don't know, really, how my mother would have survived these past 8 months without my uncle back in her life.

I am happy for perfect timing.

XOXOB

Two for Tuesday

I am not sure why, but I expected this to get easier every week. So not the case. I find myself thinking days ahead of things that are making me happy. Being happy should not be this much work.

Anyway....Two things that make me happy:

1) Watching my baby play softball. Natalie has been playing softball for years and years. She started when she was in preschool and has pretty much stuck with it. She took last year off, but went back this year. She is pretty good. She has some rough moments, but she plays. She is there every game. She cheers on her teammates and always has a bright smile. One of my favorite things is watching her run out to her position...usually first. She runs and her ponytail just swings! It is one of my most favorite things...watching her hair swing as she runs to the base. This will be my last year of ever watching her play school ball. It kinda adds to my sadness of her leaving. But, it makes me happy. I will go every time, sitting in the rain or the wind or the heat and watch my baby play.

2) Okay...this made me happy, I can't help it! The other day Trent and I went to a Giants game. I have been making us scarves to wear. I have only completed one (I know, I know, but man,it is harder than I make it look!). Being it was just Trent and I, and the scarf was actually his, he let me wear it. We went into the fan shop so I could get me a jacket (YAY!) and while we were checking out, the lady behind the counter asked about my scarf. She said that she really liked it. I said, "Oh, thank you, I made it." She was like, "WHAT?" And I said that I had knitted it. She was like, "Oh my gosh, that is such a great scarf. I think you should sell them! I would buy one." I know!!! I was so happy. Whether she meant it or not, she made me feel good.

There ya go...two things this Tuesday that make me happy. I wonder if there will come a day again when I don't have to look for things to make me happy, when I just am. When I have more days with smiles and less with tears. When I want to get out of bed and start the day.

XOXO

Two for Tuesday!

It was suggested that before depressing myself even more, that perhaps instead of "Five for Monday" I switch it up and give a "Two for Tuesday!" What a wonderful idea! It wish it were mine, but I give credit where credit is due...Thank you, Albert, for the suggestion!

1) The first thing I am happy about today is my husband! I have had a really bad few weeks (years?) and he has put up with me rather well! He gets frustrated because he does not know what to do to help me and I can't tell him. He protects me. He wishes me happiness. He tries to fix things. Some things, my dear, cannot be fixed. Sometimes I just need a big ol' shoulder to cry on and thank heavens I have a great big ol' husband who has two of the best shoulders ever! I put him through a bunch of crap, and he stays. I push him to every limit he knows, and he stays. When he put the ring on my finger it was for better or worse...this is kinda the worse right now, but, he stays. He is a remarkable man.

2) Okay...this is like so stupid, but I can't help it, it makes me happy. I listen to music all day as I sit and type. I like different genres, so I will go from country to pop to 80s to love songs to alternative...but sometimes you just need something in between. There is a new radio station, 105.5 FM, that plays songs from the 70s, 80s, 90s, and now! It gives a really good mix of stuff I remember as a child growing up in New Mexico and the stuff I heard earlier this year. Some of the songs take me way, way back and make me smile. Some, of course, make me a little sad. But, all in all, I really like the radio station. There have even been a couple of times that I have stood up and sang along as I added my dance to it!! Don't hold your breath for video!

Two for Tuesday was so much better and so less stressful! I love Two for Tuesday! I am sooooo glad I came up with the idea, all by myself! I am like super genius! Yeah, whatever, that's my story and I am sticking to it!

XOXO