I may never feel happy again

Okay, the blues just keep on coming. First Garrick and now my sweet, sweet baby Cookie. Cookie has been sick for a few weeks, really bad the last two days. We took her to the vet yesterday and her breast cancer (which was removed in 2006) has metastasized to her lung. The tumor has almost filled the entire lung and is probably pushing on the other one and limiting the intake of air on the good lung.

We have to put her down. Neither Trent or I can do this. I cannot stand to see her suffer but my heavens, I cannot let the vet put stuff into her veins to kill her. I know the right thing and I will eventually do this, but I am so afraid to do it too soon or to wait too long.

We have had her since she was just a little, bitty puppy and she is now 11-1/2 years old. She sleeps with me and keeps my company when I am alone. I already miss her so much. I hope she finds kitties to chase and fields to run in.