A couple of things I want my kids to know.

Just a couple of things on my mind, my darling babies.  If I have mentioned these before (I think I have), I think they are worth repeating...

     *     When I am old and gray and perhaps senile, I still want to celebrate my birthday.  Please always bring a cake (store bought, please) and balloons and sing to me. 

     *     Along the same lines...if I am indeed demented like my grandmother is, I still want you to tell me things and to keep me updated.  If a family member is getting married or having a baby or whatever, tell me.  I may not remember but I still want to know.  Also, tell me things about us.  Remind of me of the stories I once told you over and over again, i.e. the day you were born, your first word, a happy memory of us, etc.  Also, I love being read to. 

     *     I believe in true love. I believe that once you find it, you will never forget it.  I believe in happily ever after.  I believe you give your heart to that one person for life and for eternity.  Ask the love of my life to tell you all about it after I am gone; he will know my heart. 

     *     I believe in family.  I cannot stand when one person refers to "writing off" or being "written off" by family.  We did not choose our family, our Heavily Father did.  He had his reasons for putting one person  within a family unit.  Deal with it.  Work it out. 

      *     If I am sick in a hospital bed and I have a dog at home, do anything you need to do to bring the dog to see me.  I can only imagine that seeing my sweet, sweet Maggie girl would only improve whatever ailed me.

     *     The last thing I want you both to know is the deep, deep love I have for both of you.  When I had Garrick, I never thought that I could love another person as much as I loved him and then when I had Natalie, my heart grow double in size because there was so much more love to be shared.  I hope neither of you ever felt that I would not stop the world from spinning to do whatever you needed me to.  I would always, always go to bat for either of you and put anything on the line that I needed to to protect you both. You are both now and forever my babies...my most favorite babies ever.

So, these are just a few things that have been on my mind lately.  They are opinions held only by myself and I share them with you.  I love you my Garrick (Ricky Ticky) and my Natalie (Nattie Jo). 

XOXO

Another Year?!?

I just can't help it...I get excited around my birthday.  Around Christmas.  Around my children's birthdays.  Around vacay time!  I just get excited!  I can't help myself! In fact, I have pretty much renamed May to the Month of Velvet or commonly known as MOV! 

This year, though....45.  Oh my gosh.  Forty frickin' five?   When did this happen?  I remember being a young lady in my 20s....I had babies, two of them!  I had a waist, a defined waist!  I had eyes without lines!  I had clothes that were size single digit!  Single frickin' digits!!  I had hair that was all brown, nothing else, just brown!  I could jump, literally, out of bed and run to find out what was wrong with my crying baby.  I could walk the beach without stopping.  I could vacuum the floors without wheezing.  I could climb stairs and not wonder how...many...more...steps....are....there???  I could speed in my car and know I was probably cute enough to talk my way out of a ticket!  I could look at Junior clothes without being judged.  I could get out of bed and not hold onto the small of my back and stretch for 15 minutes before standing up straight!  I could, literally, run to the store!  I could read small print without the aide of another pair of glasses!  I could eat anything I wanted and still button...my....pants!  I could reach around and zip up my own dress, all...by....myself!   I could put my long hair up in a cute ponytail and swing it from side to side!  I could giggle!  I could stand from a seated position without noise!  I could just walk on by the wrinkle cream in the store.  I didn't know what heartburn was!  I could go to a restaurant with my husband and look at all the babies and smile when they fussed and cried!  Medication?  Everyday?  What?!?

But, alas...I am what I am.  I am a 45-year-old middle-aged woman who has two grown children, an empty nest, and a dog!  I've certainly come a long way.  I know the importance of family and good friends.  I know how wonderful it is to laugh until you cry.  I know the heartache of regret.  I know all the should haves and could haves and what could have beens.  I know the hurt of death and saying goodbye for the last time.  I know what it means to forgive and to forget.  I know the dark, blue days will pass.  I know what love feels like.

I know what if feels like to know I'd do it all over again. 

Age, really, is just a number.  That old saying that you are as old as you feel is true.  Some days, I feel all of my 45 years, sometimes I only feel half of them!  Getting older (and wiser?!?) every year sure beats the alternative. 

XOXO

Velvet

A dinner

I went to dinner the other night with a friend.  We laughed and we joked, but we had a very long, meaningful conversation.  She told me things that bothered her.  I told her the things that bothered me.  She told me her hopes and fears of the futures.  I told her mine.  She told me secrets; things that she has been keeping for years.  She confided in me because she knows she can trust me.  I told her my thoughts and revealed some secrets of my own. 

During this dinner, I realized a few things:
Trust is not just given to one, it is earned.  She can trust me because I have never let her down and she knows that I will never let her down.  

A good friend is someone you can laugh with one minute and cry with the next.  Share things only with them.

I have never loved a woman as much as I love this one.  I have known this fabulous woman her entire life.  She is, without a doubt, my best friend, my closest confidant, my life, my daughter.

XOXO 

What the.....????

There have been some things I did not understand.  I just didn't get it.  Here are the ones that popped into my widdle head.....

1.     Pinterest
Really?  What the heck? 
Let me understand this concept....you find pictures, of what other people have posted, and you put them on your imaginary webified board.  You take pictures and "pin" them on a board that only exists in your imagination.  You spend half of your day going through other peoples pictures and deciding what you like and pin them onto your board. 
Currently, I have 20 boards and 423 pins. 
I'm not entirely sure I still get it, but I like it!

2.    Downton Abbey
This series is on PBS.  Yuck.  What do you watch on PBS?  Nothing.
This series is set in England.  Yuck.  Who likes British television?  No one.
This series started in 1912.  Yuck.  Who likes period pieces?  No one.
This series is about classes and classes within classes.  Yuck.  Who likes to be judged and classed?  No one.
Currently, I have just finished the 3rd Season and anxiously awaiting the 4th Season.  In fact, the 4th season cannot come fast enough.  I check every Sunday night to see if there is a new episode on.  I wonder if indeed one of my favorite characters is dead.  I wonder if Downton Abbey can overcome all of the sadness and deep grief that have been bestowed upon the house.  I wonder if the economic status of the estate will turn around.  I wonder....okay, I think you get it.  I love Downton Abbey.

3.   Pajama Pants in Public
Okay...I am not okay with this and I never will be. 
There is a time and place for pajama pants, my grocery store is not one of them. 
Please, please, please, take 3 minutes of your precious time and put on a real pair of pants before you leave the house.  THREE MINUTES!!!

4.  Yoga Pants in Public
Unlike #3, I believe that yoga pants are entirely acceptable outerwear.  I would never wear my yoga pants in public because I like to cover up the imperfections in my body, not exploit them.  But hey, if you feel good enough to wear your yoga pants in public, go right ahead.  I am not offended by it.  If you have just worked out, more power to you.  If you have just woke up, well heck, it looks like you just worked out, so more power to you!!  If you have just had a seven-course meal and are stuffed beyond all belief and these are the only pants you can breathe in, well, again, it looks like you just worked out, so more power to you!!

5.  Bra Straps
No one wants to see your bra straps.  No one.  If you are wearing a tube top (yuck) and a full bra, I judge your intelligence and your sense of fashion. 

6.  Flip Flops AND a Coat
Guilty. 
What?!?!? 
My toes are pretty and polished, my heels are not dry and cracked and disgusting (there is a whole nuther topic!),  and I have pretty toe jewelry that must be seen!
But, alas, I am cold.  I am always cold.  The only time I am not cold and not with goosebumps on my arms is when the temperature hits about 90 degrees F .  Perfect weather for me.  At 90 degrees, I can wear flip flops without a coat ...and I might break out the cute capris as well. 
Don't judge me nor my intelligence nor my sense of fashion!  It all makes sense...at least in my head!!

Okay...that should cover it for today.  (On a side note -- I had a wonderful #7 but I had to delete it because I could not come up with a #8 and I can't leave something odd and not even, my whole mojo would be off and no telling what bad thing would have happened!! -- again, a whole nuther topic!) 

XOXO

Velvet 

Maybe, someday.

I was channel surfing on Sunday night waiting for "Downton Abbey" to come on and I came across a Tom Cruise film that I don't think I had seen before.  It was called, "Knight and Day" with Cameron Diaz.  I didn't watch the whole thing but there was a line that kinda stuck with me.  "Someday. That's a dangerous word. It's really just a code for 'never'."

Oh my gosh, how true is THAT?!?!?  How may times in a year do I say "Someday?"  Someday this will happen.  Someday I'll travel here with you.  Someday that will happen.  I never thought as I was saying it that I really meant this was never going to happen.

It made me think about the "other code word" I use a lot...."Maybe."  Generally, maybe means no.  "Are you going to go to Moo Moo's for lunch?"  "Maybe," I reply.  Knowing that I am surely not going out for lunch and I am surely not going to Moo Moo's alone if I do.  Sometimes I may ask myself, "I wonder if this dream will ever come true?" I answer with a "Maybe."  Perhaps dreaming that it may, but in my heart knowing it wont.

So, I thought again (I know...Tom Cruise brought on all this deep pondering?!?), about the times I have have said, "Maybe, someday."  Oh my heck....what a double negative!!  "Will we ever travel to Paris and have a wonderful, romantic time?"  "Maybe...someday."  I guess, that means we will never, never make it there.  I hope the one I ask of that will not reply with the same response.  I want the guy I love with all my heart to answer, "Oh yes, my love, we will certainly be there one day."  No someday...no maybe.  

With all that said, I will still, without a doubt, reply with a "Someday" and with a "Maybe."  However, I hope as I am uttering those words, I will really think about what I am saying and change the code.  When I say those words, especially together, I will smile to myself and think, "Yes, Velvet, you will.  No code words here."

Will I see my father again....Maybe someday.
Will we find happiness beyond measure....Maybe someday.
Will this dark cloud of deep depression ever move away from above me....Maybe someday.
Will I get my fairytale ending....Maybe someday. 

Oh yes, that felt good.

XOXO