A Light in my Life

Where do I even begin....

My sweet, baby girl, Natalie.... Wow.

A few years ago, my baby came to me and said she wanted to be a police officer. I replied that she could do whatever she wanted.  I wasn't sure if this would be her path in this life or not, but it really didn't matter, she could do whatever she wanted.  She had talked about joining the Air Force first and getting to her dream down that road.  I hated that idea, but I told her that I would support this if she wanted.

She started taking college classes in criminal justice and thought she might like to obtain the degree first and then go the police academy.  That was okay with me, if it made her happy.

She then looked into the POST Academy and decided this was her fate, this is what she would do.  She started filling out paperwork and getting things together. I watched and wondered if she would continue on with this or if something else might interest her and head her in a different way.  She stayed with it.

There were two ways to get into the academy -- be sponsored by a particular agency and have them put you through or go through as an independent.  She felt her best option would be to just put herself through.  I agreed and told her that we would help her in any way she needed us to.  The problem with going in as an independent is that you were not given first choice; if they filled up with sponsored people first, the class would be closed and you would have to wait until the next session.  There were also two sessions; first was the accelerated session which was 6 months or the extended session which is 9 months (I think). The class schedule for the accelerated session was Saturday through Wednesday, 7am to 4pm.  She, of course, wanted the accelerated session.

She applied but it would not be known until the day that the session started whether or not as an independent she would get in or not.  She got in.  She had to quit her job at Starbucks because this school had now become her full-time job. This school had now become her life.

Through the next 6 months, she did shooting tests and written tests and physical tests and driving tests.  She got up every morning, put on her cadet uniform, pulled her hair into a bun, made a lunch, and went to school.  She had bad days with tears.  She had great days with smiles and laughter.  She had days that she wasn't sure she would make it through and other days when she breezed on by. She had days when she questioned if this was path in life and days when she knew this was it.

All during this time, my heart and my head were in turmoil.  I wanted my daughter to succeed in this because it was what she wanted.  Yet, my heart, my heart didn't want her to be placed in danger.  I was torn in wanting what she wanted yet wanting what I wanted for her.   I wasn't sure what it was that I wanted, but I was pretty sure it didn't involve carrying a gun to work.  It was on the bad days that I encouraged her the most and on the great days when I questioned her the most.  I wanted to support her sooo much, yet, I wanted her to give up this dream and do something where she might wear heels to work.

In the end, I have no doubt that this is my baby's calling.  She was born to serve. She was born to make peace.  She was born to carry a gun.  She is the bravest, strongest, most independent woman I know.  She is also, by far, the most beautiful woman I know.  She holds her head high and she walks into a room and commands respect.  She is often the center of attention and has no clue that she is.  She has a smile that lights up every corner of darkness around her.  She has eyes that cannot lie, that twinkle with happiness and perhaps a little danger.  She has words that are never unkind.  She has attitude that radiates calmness and peace.  She has a light within her that shines, that pulls you in.   I have taught her everything I know and now I learn from her.

She is a brightness in my life.  She brings such joy.  She makes me proud.

Now as I watch my sweet girl starting her new journey, my heart swells with pride and joy and admiration.  My heart still worries but I trust her and her training.

My gosh, my sweet Natalie, I couldn't be more proud of you.  You are my hero, my love.

From this baby girl in blue....

To this woman in blue!

XOXO

Mom

Two Things...

you probably don't know about me!  I am not even sure if my family knows these things or not!!!

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I am a terrific dialer of the phone!!

You know, on the radio, if you are caller 10 (or whatever number) you win the prize?  I am that caller a lot of the time.  I am not going to say that I can get it every time, because even I am not that good!  But I do pretty good!  I have won money and CDs and tickets (lots o' tickets) and entries for big prizes.  Sometimes when I am not the exact number caller, I am just a number or two off.  I can't do it on my cell phone, though, it has to be my land line -- so, if I ever lose that, I may have to concede.  Or learn how to dial more precisely on the cell!

But yeah...I am a good dialer!

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I was the voice of the Movie Hotline!

That is correct.  If you called the Movie Hotline in Farmington, NM say in the years 1985 to 1988 - it was me!

Back in those olden times, we used a cassette tape and I think I had like 30 seconds (probably more, but man whatever it was went really fast!!) to tell you what was playing at the theaters and the times!  I would get almost to the end and run out of tape...and start all over again!  I had to wait until like almost midnight on Thursday night to change it for the new week and then I had to change the times for the weekends because there were more showings!  I think the weekend tape was a little longer!

So, if you lived in Farmington, NM in the late 80s and ever called the Movie Hotline 'twas me saying, "Showing at the Cameo Rocking Chair Theater is..."

You are welcome!

XOXO

Two Things...

...I love about my husband!

Being we are celebrating our 28th wedding anniversary today (05/27), I thought I would dedicate this two thing blog post to him. Of course, this is MY blog, therefore, even if it is about him, it is really still about me!

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He really spoils me.

He says flowers are stupid and expensive and die.  Yet, I get flowers for Valentine's Day and special occasions.  I love flowers!  I was going to say it is not about the flower itself, but more about the thought...but it really is about the flower!  I can't grow crap (darn it, I shoulda remembered that for things I suck at!!) so when my flowers die, it's okay because they are supposed to die.

He says jewelry is stupid and expensive and you can never get out of it what you have in it.  No..wrong.   Jewelry is great!  I love my diamond necklaces and my diamond earrings and my earrings from Tiffany's (still have that blue box, too!!) and my diamond tennis bracelet and my first wedding rings and my second wedding rings (happy 25th to me!!) and my pearls and my emeralds (it's my birth stone, gotta have those!) and all the other stuff I crammed into my armoire!  I love every piece, the expensive pieces and the pieces that we just picked up at a gift shop.  No, I can't wear everything at once, but it doesn't matter, I can wear everything.

He does the laundry.  'Nuff said there.

Last year when he was sick, I had to mow the lawn.  He felt terrible that I had to strain myself and do this.  So, even though he was deathly ill (he really was), he would go outside and stand there whilst I mowed and apologize every time I came around.  I would say that it wasn't all that bad, but I don't want to do it anymore, so....

He washes my car and makes sure I have gas.

He is really super duper honest about my clothing.  I take him shopping me because I know he will tell me the truth about my butt looking fat in something. Of course, he would NEVER say my butt looks fat, but what he does say is that he is not fond of that particular article, it's not the right color or cut or whatever. When I LOVE something and can't live without out, even if he hates it, we get it.

My birthday and Mother's Day and our anniversary are all in the same month, just weeks apart.  Every year he tells me that he is going to get me one gift for all three occasions and I am going to like it!  He has never done this.

When I cry, he wants to fix it.  Sometimes it can't be fixed, but he will do whatever he can to do so.

When we go home to New Mexico and I want to spend all the time with my family, he does this.  There is a compromise, and I don't mind spending time with his family, I love them.  I just really love my family and miss them.  He understands.  We live 1000 miles away and get home so seldom, I just want to sit and be with my brother and mother and sister and aunt and uncle for a while.  He understands.  We do pop in and see his family, but it's okay if the majority of the time we are with my family.  That's a good guy right there!

I am thinking about some life changes and he is totally behind me!  He is making plans and setting things up so I can change some things!  He asks all the right questions and has all the right answers.

At night, whilst lying in bed almost asleep, he reaches for my hand.  He likes to hold my hand at night.  I like him to as well.

He will do things he really doesn't want to do because I want to do it.  Every time we go to the beach, he goes - he hates it - but he goes with me.  He will see chick flicks with me and superhero movies with me - he hates it - but he goes!  I wanted a second dog because Maggie was so alone, he said no.  I told him we really needed it.  He said okay, but not another Labrador.  We got Moosie, another lab!  I would say that he hates it, but he LOVES Moosie!!  He takes me to the ballet and to plays - he hates it - but he goes with me.

He gave me two wonderful children!  I don't know where I would be without my favorite son, Garricky, and my sweet baby girl, Nattie Jo.  They are pains in the ass at times, but I love them!

Ooopppsss...sorry, there are way more things than two...I just couldn't stop myself!

I know I am not always a great wife.  I know I can be hard to live with at times (you do know my mother, right?!?!), but you are always there for me.  We argue about stupid crap, but we never really fight.  We don't always see eye to eye, but always find a nice compromise.  You are my eternal companion, for this life and for the next.  We lasted 28 years when people said we wouldn't make it 2 (hahaha). I can't wait to see what the next 28 years have in store for us!   I am ready to cross the oceans and see the world with you.  I am ready to take your hand and see where this road is going next! Thanks for offering to tutor me in College Algebra way back in 1987 and then ask me out and then eventually asking me to marry you! Thanks, my Trenty, for everything.  You really are the best part of me.

XOXO

Two Things....

I suck at!!

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I really suck at picking a container to put leftovers in.  I either get it too big or too small - never just the right size.  If I get the container too big, it is really not that big of a deal.  I seal it up and put it in the fridge and wait a week and throw it away.  However, if I pick a container too small, I have to make a decision:  Either I have to decide that I have saved enough and am willing to throw what didn't fit away, or I have to decide to put it in a bigger container and have yet one more dish to wash.  I bet you can't guess which way that decision usually goes, can you?!?!?

It is all really a moot point anyway.  I never eat leftovers -- thank you, Daddy, for teaching me that leftovers suck!  Trent will eat them, occasionally, but not that often.  Natalie will sometimes take them to school the next day, sometimes not. Most of the time, the leftovers sit in the fridge until  I can't even remember what is in the container, open it up and still, really, have no idea what the hell is in there!  Then - I have yet another decision to make:  Throw the hold container out because ... GROSS... or be brave and throw the food out and save the container.  I bet you can't guess which way that decision usually goes, can you?!?!?

BTW -- I need new leftover containers!!!  LOL

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Okay, as I was contemplating writing this post, I could not, for the life of me, think of another thing I sucked at!  I know, right?!?  I asked Trenty and, of course, because he is the best husband in the whole, wide world, said I didn't really suck at anything.  Such a liar -- however, we haven't been married for nearly 28 years because he tells the truth!!  I then asked Natalie...she had a few things!

Another thing I such at is playing catch (of course, my tomboy daughter who is in the Police Academy would say this!).  This is true.  But, since I thought about it, I really hate anything that has a potential to hit me in the face.  For instance, occasionally at kickboxing class, we have to have a partner.  I will hold two paddles and my partner will throw punches/kicks at the paddles.  I flinch, every, single time.   This, pretty much, makes me the worst kickboxing partner ever.  I used to be able to play catch pretty well, but something about that hard baseball/softball coming at my face scares me!  Same thing with fists and feet!  I don't want my face to be hurt!  I am old now, I know hurt and I don't want hurt!

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BONUS third thing I suck at --  Waiting.

I am not the most patient person in the world.  In fact, I am probably closer to the most impatient person than to the most patient person.  If you say you are going to be somewhere at a certain time, be there.  If you give me a time for an appointment,  I will be there at said time, how long will you make me wait? Before I had an electronic reader (NOOK), I used to read the last few chapters of the book because I could not wait to find out what happened!  Did the character die or make it?  I need to know....RIGHT NOW!!  I read spoilers for my favorite shows - can't can't wait!  I binge watch Netflix because I can't wait!

The DVR and Pandora and Netflix have completely spoiled me!  When in the car and listening to the radio -- oh my gosh, who knew there were sooooo many interruptions in the songs!  When watching a baseball game live on TV (not live as in the park - I never want those games to end), I often tell the pitcher to throw the stupid ball.  No need to check the runner on first, I will let you know if he is going, just throw the pitch already!  I would rather wait (which, obviously is very hard for me!) an hour to watch any show that has recorded on my DVR to avoid stupid commercials than to have to wait those 2 minutes!  I just can't wait!!

XOXO

Two Things....

about my mother.

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My mom didn't grow up with much.  She remembers one December when she was turning 16 (her birthday is in December) and she was told she could only have one gift --- for both occasions.  She wanted a typewriter and a watch, but was asked to pick just one.  Because of this, mom is very generous.  I believe she would literally give her shirt off her back, especially for her family.

When I was growing up, I didn't really realize how much we as a family probably struggled.  Both of my parents worked outside of the home, and they worked hard.  Always 40+ hours a week.  She expected a lot from me being the only daughter.  I had to start dinner and help with the dishes.  I helped with the laundry.  I helped clean the house and take care of the yard.  But, all I had to do was ask for something and generally I would get it.  I wanted new Nike shoes, I got new Nike shoes.  I wanted the most expensive of sweaters, I got these.  I wanted the popular jeans, which I got.  I wanted a dress and I HAD to have those matching shoes, which I got.  I got a car when I turned 15.  Even though we probably really couldn't afford everything, she found a way to get it for me.  I hate to think of all those things she went without - yet again - because she was taking care of me.

You can say a lot of things about my mother, but you could never say that she is not generous.  Go ahead, ask her for something.

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So, you know how I am kinda (?) vain and I care (a little bit, anyway) about what people think of me or what they may be saying about me.  Yeah...my mom, no way.  She does not give one crap about what you think about her.  She will go out of the house without putting a brush through her hair (which, by the way, would KILL me), but she runs into any one - who cares.  Let them talk.  She will tell you her age at any given minute - who cares, she is what she is.  She doesn't buy the most expensive beauty products - who cares, this will do.  I can't think she has ever worn the latest fashion, she just doesn't care.  She has wrinkles around her eyes -- yeah, she would say, I am old, I deserve these, I earned these!  Same with those gray hairs!  She has a potty mouth (what? someone in this family has a potty mouth?!?!), if you don't like it, don't listen.

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BONUS - third thing!!!

DO NOT PISS HER OFF.

That is all I have to say about that!!!


Happy Mother's Day, Mama!  I love you and miss you tons.