Two things...

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How are you?

You know, that is really a loaded question.  How are you?  How am I?  How much do you want to know?  How much do I want to share?

If you ask and if I say I am fine or good or okay...that's the end.  I am fine...and you?  You are fine.  We move on.

If you ask and if I say that I am okay...but.... it is not the end.  We have to continue to talk about it.  I have to open up.  You have to listen.

Were you just asking so I could say I was fine and ask how you were so we could move on?  Or were you asking because you really wanted to know the truth?  And willing to sit and listen?  And when I asked, in return, how you were, how much did I really want to hear?

I wonder if this is just like a United States thing or a girl thing or a my generation thing.

Sometimes I really want to share.  Sometimes I want to tell how I am. Sometimes it may be good....sometimes not so good.

But....for the time being...

I am good, how are you?


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Escape

Isn't the Escape button on the keyboard such a great invention?!?  I mean - do you want to escape here because you are lost or you went into the wrong place or this is so not the place you wanted to be -- YES!!!!

We need a life escape button!!

Am I lost?  Yes...escape me from here!  Do I belong here?  No...escape me from here!  Did I just get into a situation that I should not be in?  Yes...escape me from here!  Did someone just accuse me of something terrible and I am about to cry and I don't want anyone to see? Yes...escape me from here!  Did I just receive an email that broke my heart into a million pieces?  Yes...escape me from here! Is work so intolerable that I am about to die?  Yes...escape me from here!  Am I hurt and just want to be left alone?  Yes...escape me from here!  Am I stuck someplace that I need to get away from?  Yes...escape me from here!

Maybe we need like an email or text escape button as well!  Oh no...did I just send that email?  Yes...escape it from there!!  Did I really just text that? Yes...escape it from there!!

Oh my gosh....escape me from here!!  Never mind...I'm fine.

XOXO

Two things....

I have been a busy mama!!  Trenty and I just recently (not really, like a week ago) got back from Idaho.  We went to celebrate Garrick's 26th birthday.  Of course, Garrick was a miracle baby born to a 3-year-old woman!  That's right, in three short years, my most favorite son and I will be the same exact age!!  I have no idea how that works, I just know it works!

So, my two things today are things I noticed in Idaho.

The first thing I noticed is Jordache Jeans are a real thing there.  I think the last time I had on a pair of Jordache Jeans was probably in.... I don't know, 1980-ish?!?   The jeans are very noticeable because of that big pocket design.  And...just in case you were wondering... not only for the women folk.  Yes, men also wear Jordache Jeans...a couple even sporting the bell bottoms!  I don't know, it was like I was thrust back to the 1970s!!  And frankly, I don't even remember much about the 70s, I was just a small child!  But I am pretty sure some of those jeans were a product of the 70s.

Now, don't get me wrong, there were modern fashions going on there as well.  Though I did get a few stares when I was wearing my ripped skinny jeans with 4" wedges or wearing my flip flops with a sweater.  I am sure I was pegged "one of the California girls" quickly.

The other thing.. Boise is not pronounced Boy-Zee.  I am sure I have said Boy-Zee all of my life...I might still let it slip.  The correct pronunciation is Boy-See.  If you say Boy-Zee, people around you snicker.

Just a little factoid for you, Boise is French and means "wooded" as in a lot of trees.  Though we were there before big fall changes were in full effect, we did get to see the beginning of fall.  We also got to see a beautiful sunset at a place called Table Rock.  It was breathtakingly stunning.

Also, people think California has bad drivers?!?!  Yeah....no.

Also, a funny thing Garrick told us -- there are two seasons in Boise; Winter and Construction!  From what I could tell, we were there in the construction season!

The people were super nice!  I made a large purchase for G for his birthday and they didn't even ask to see my ID with my credit card!  Apparently, fraud is just not a thing there!

I met some of Garrick's friends.  It dawned on us that I have not met a friend of Garrick's since his first year of college.  I liked them and hopefully they liked us as well!  Apparently, I interrogate with a crapton of questions.  Natalie asked when we got home if I asked 1000 questions.  I guess I probably did.  I didn't realize I had become known for asking questions, but then I thought about it and asking questions is the only way I get answers!! Who knew?  If I, however, offended G's friends with my questions, I apologize (not really, but what else can I say?).  I know when I have crossed the line with my questions because Garrick so kindly and lovingly looks at me and says, "Okay...enough with the questions."  Again... it's the only way to get answers!  If you don't want me to ask questions, then I would suggest you start talking!  The more you talk and the more you share, the less I have to ask.

Though it was a very quick trip, it was so good to see my baby boy.  He just doesn't even know how much of my heart he holds.  He doesn't know the ache I feel when I miss him and wish it were 20 years earlier when I had both of my babies at home and when they needed me.  There is a special bond between a son and his mother -- only a mother of a son can understand.  I wish he was closer (really?, who am I lying too, I wish he was still living upstairs!), but to know he is happy and healthy and loving life makes my heart swell with joy.  He is my pride and my joy and I love him more than words could ever express.  <3 nbsp="" p="">
And those, my friends, are my "two" things for today.

XOXO

Two Things...

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I wish we could bottle the "weekend."  I know, it sounds a bit strange (or does it?!?), but hear me out.

So, last week, during the Monday through Friday part, I was exhausted.  I couldn't get enough sleep.  Come around 3:00pm, my eyes were heavy and I was trying to do my transcription but the rhythm of my doctor's voice was just like a lullaby!   I don't drink Diet Pepsi anymore, but I am sure that caffeine would have helped.  I had to stand up and walk around just a bit just to clear the cobwebs!

This week, (and might I add, thank heavens it's Thursday, I am exhausted!!) is about the same thing.  I have had a headache almost every evening.  I haven't even been able to read before bed neither I have I been able to knit much.  Just feeling kinda blah.

But, I can almost guarantee that come Friday afternoon/evening I will be just fine!!  I bet I can go out for dinner and a movie with my date!  I bet I can stay up to midnight knitting and Netflix bingeing.  I bet I will get up to feed the dogs at 6:30 in the morning (I know, you'd think I would have them better trained than that) and be roaring to go!  I bet I can shop on Saturday until I am about to drop! I bet I get up Sunday, also at 6:30 (dogs....), do my laundry (if Trent hasn't already done it!) and clean my house a bit and again knit and movie binge watch without any problem.  Until.....Sunday evening.

On Sunday evening, my fingers will begin to tingle with carpal tunnel syndrome a little bit.  I am sure that little pounding above my right eye will start just a bit. My left elbow may begin to ache just a touch.  I am sure my lower back will be a little achy as well.  My neck... well, it may need to be massaged!  That's right... I am starting not to feel well.  Monday is tomorrow.

I know I am not the only one to do this.  I have friends, spouses of friends, family, etc. who I know face these same problems.   You can be at the ER on Wednesday night yet howling at the moon on Saturday at midnight!  You have have all these aches and pains during the week that are just miraculously cured, if only for 48 short hours!  I don't even need to nap on Saturday or Sunday!  I am always raring to go!  What's the next adventure we are going to do?  What movie might we see?  Is there a baseball game in San Francisco?  Do I need more yarn (the answer to this question is...Really?  Do you need even ask?)?  Could I cruise through the mall and buy stuff that I don't need?  Does little Winnie (my Mini) need to go for a little drive to the beach?   That's right, I am FOE   -- Full Of Energy!  I am not sick.  There are no aches or pains.

So, let's bottle it!

And, just a side note here - a little rant, if you will - The week is seven days long, yet the weekend is only two days?!?  I mean, I know you can't split seven in an equal half (look at that...high school algebra is paying off!), but you can get a little closer than 2/7.  I would take 3/7.  However...oh my gosh, wouldn't 4/7 be the BEST!!  But I wont be greedy... I will take the 3/7 and be happy with it.  I think we should start a campaign  --- Friday should be the weekend too!!  Let's start a trend - #fridaywantstobethestartoftheweekend  Love it!!

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Okay, being from a very small town in New Mexico with the nearest interstate (BTW, just a little observation here -- how in the world can Hawaii have interstate highways?  There is no INTERstating going on there, right?) being like, I don't know, like 2 hours away, I don't really know if this is a problem there or just in California.  But here in Cali, motorcycles can drive between the lanes. Like on the dotted yellow lines.  When we first moved here, I would like swerve because it would scare the crap out of me because the motorcycle was passing me and he wasn't there a minute ago and there is a car there in the next lane? Where did he come from?  What lane is he using?   It still kinda scares me, especially if I am driving our huge Ram Truck and if I am in the middle lane and can't really swerve or move over any to give the motorcycle guy some room.  But, really...do I HAVE to make him room?  He can see that I am in a big truck and that there is say another big truck next to me, he should be able to tell that he cannot fit through there...yet, he tries.  YIKES!

Trent says that a long time ago or in older motorcycles that are air cooled, they need to keep going, especially in California where we have such lovely traffic that really stalls to a 3-MPH crawl, to keep from overheating.  If the motorcycle continued at a 3-MPH pace for too long, it would overheat.  Okay... I see that.  I am reasonable.

But...that does not explain why the motorcycle people do the same thing while in-town driving.  The other day I was driving in town and was stopped at a light, a few minutes (okay, probably seconds, but doesn't it feel like forever when you are waiting the light to turn green!?!) later, a motorcycle came up between cars and stopped at the red light between me and another vehicle, who, by the way, were in our own lanes.  The motorcycle guy, he was not in a lane.   When the light turned green, he hauled butt outta there!  So, in my mind, this guy was breaking like two traffic laws; he was passing in a lane that was already occupied by another vehicle and he was speeding (okay, yeah, so what, I was speeding too, but that is only ONE law broken not two!).

While I am on the fence about letting them pass me on the highway, I am clearly not whilst driving in town, off the highway, on regular city streets.  I think on the highway, if indeed we are going less than the posted speed limit, the motorcycle should be allowed to have some leeway and pass perhaps if the area is wide enough for him to get by (that is a whole other issue..there are some motorcycles that are very big and have those saddle bags (hey...I resemble that comment!) that are quite big which makes the motorcycle very wide, almost too wide to slip between two vehicles if the two vehicles stayed in their respected lanes and not scooch over to make room).  But if we are all going, or exceeding in some cases (LOL), the speed limit, they should have to follow the same rules and pass like the rest of us.  I think the same should go for in-town driving.  There are lights and stop signs and crosswalks that we all have to stop for, I think they should have to stop, behind traffic, in their own lane, and wait like the rest of us.

Even after living in Cali for the last 14+ years, I still get startled by a motorcycle passing me going between the lanes.  I worry for their mothers who you KNOW are worried that their babies are out there in motorcycles driving through traffic. I always pray that they are observant enough to watch out for cars who are changing lanes and just don't see the motorcycle, because frankly, they are not where they are supposed to be.   And I pray that they have the ability to duck their heads if they come in close contact to a side-view mirror that sticks out a little too far.  It scares me, it really does.  While I loved to ride on the back of Trenty's bike (and feel his body close to .... never mind, too much information) back in the day, there is no way I would get on one here in California.  It just scares me too much.

And that, dear friends, are my two things this week!

Travel, Football, Birthday, and New Friendships

I wanted to share my experience this weekend.  Bear with me....

Today is Trent's birthday.  We have had a hard year, but he is pretty much back to normal and aside from being a bit on a financial low, we are doing very well.

So last week, I was looking at a ticket app that I often go to so I could try to find something great do to with Trent this last weekend for his birthday.  I ran across some UCLA vs. BYU football tickets at the Rose Bowl in Pasadena.  I thought it would be a great gift for him (and, no lying here, a great get-away for us both) but I could not purchase them without first checking to make sure he was not working and that we wanted to go.  I asked him about it and we talked about it and he said no...at first.  The next day he came to ask if I could still get the tickets.  I looked and I could.  We looked for a hotel room and plans were made.
We left earlyish on Saturday morning, arrived to SoCa in the early afternoon. Checked into our room.  Went to Old Town Pasadena, walked around in the massive heat, BTW!!   Took a shuttle to the Rose Bowl.  Watched a pretty fabulous football game!  It was messy and not pretty and came down to the last few minutes of the game to decide who the winner was going to be.  We stayed until the very last second and just soaked it all up.  We waited in a rather lengthy line to shuttle back to our car, but I gotta say, those Rose Bowl people know how to move a lot of people very quickly.  The rather lengthy line, I am talking like probably 2 miles long!, moved on out.  We were in line for less than 30 minutes before we got to our shuttle.  We got back to our room rather late, especially for people as old as us!!  Slept in a bit on Sunday and did a little sightseeing before heading back up to NorCal.  It was a rather fast and furious trip but so worth it. We got to see a pretty great football game, ate too much crap, didn't drink enough water, talked and laughed.  It was just a great few days.

What I wanted to share is what happened in the middle of all of that....

As I have shared recently, I have kinda changed a bit in my shyness.  I talk with people now.  I even start conversations with people in line.  Well, Trent and I were sitting on a bench outside of the Rose Bowl waiting for the gates to open when an older couple sat down next to us.  They were in their BYU blue.  Trent was wearing just a regular shirt but had on his UCLA cap and I was wearing my Aikman Cowboy jersey.  This couple would have had no idea we were LDS.

I asked the lady, Judi as I later found out, if they were local or if they had come down from Provo.  She answered that they are from Salt Lake City and they had taken a bus down.  Her husband's grandson, Graham Rowley, was playing for BYU, he was #92 and was a defensive lineman.  Trent and Howard talked football for a while.  Later Judi had mentioned that they actually lived in Sandy, Utah.  I told her Trent's brother lived there.  But I didn't know what ward or anything like that.  It became pretty clear from the way we talked that Trent and I are Mormon.  We chatted a bit more.  She was talking about her granddaughter training horses and they talked a bit about how much fun horse racing is.  Even if don't put any money down!  They were talking about being invited to an after race party and how much fun they were having.

At that point, I said something about drinking alcohol and how much clearer they were probably seeing things at that party!  Howard then said that he was drinking...he then said that he really wasn't a member of the church any longer. Judi said that they had a few issues.  I laughed and out of absolutely no where, I said, "Oh yeah, I am familiar with issues with the church.  We have a gay son." (Just a little side note here - this is really the very first time I have ever said those words out loud.  I have shared with friends and family, but never a complete stranger.  I don't really know why it came out -- well, I do actually...read on).

Judi's mouth gaped completely open and she sucked in air and put her hand on her chest and I was ready, actually for a fight.  I was ready to put her and other pretentious Mormons in their place.  Come at me, Judi, is what I was thinking. She reached over and touched my arm and said, "Oh my gosh, you are kidding me?  I have two lesbian daughters."   She went on to explain how she has a daughter who is married to a bishop who has stopped talking with her because of her support of her lesbian daughters.   She talked about the struggles and the hurdles and the fights and the tears.

I explained that Trent was a lifelong member of the church and was struggling a bit.  You know, being taught one thing all of your life and suddenly needing to see things differently.  Immediately, Howard got up and went over to Trent and just started talking with him.  Answering questions.  Judi and I were having our own conversation separately.  I told her I was a Mama Dragon (a group of mostly LDS mothers who have GLBTQ children who help each other out and listen and advise, etc.) and she knew about the group.  She told me her daughter and her partner were raising a child together and how she was really big in SLC Pride. She invited us to join them on October 3 for an Allies Dinner in SLC.  We talked about some of the things our "friends" have said to us.  We talked about blaming ourselves at first and wondering what we did as mothers. I showed her pictures of my children.  We exchanged phone numbers and promised to keep in touch.  It was just amazing.

By the end of our conversation, Judi and hugged and I was just crying.  It was such a blessed experience.  I wish I were more eloquent in my words so that I could explain how my heart felt.  She was just what I needed and Howard was just who Trent needed to talk to, if only for a little while.

There were just so many factors that had to lay out specifically for us to get to the point where we found out our similarities.  It started with a smile and a question.  It ended with a new friendship, new allies, new shoulders to lean on. What an amazing blessing.  What an amazing experience.  You just never know.

"Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous."  ~ Albert Einstein

XOXO

My Vote -- in 14 months

Been camping with the hubby for the last week.  Glad and sad to be back home.  I am sure some can understand.

This is September 2015.  The presidential election is not for over a year.  Yet, I am receiving tons of phone calls for polling and seeing debates on television and reading many articles on the candidates.  I feel it is too early.  I don't remember how it used to be, but I can't really believe that this campaigning has always started this early.  It has been going on for months.  I am already sick of it!

In California, our primary elections aren't until June 2016.  By that time, it has really pretty much been decided who will be on a ballot in November.  But I still exercise my vote and I give my vote to the person I like the most.  I don't go by his religion.  I don't go by his name.  I don't always go by his popularity.  I don't take your word of mouth who is the best.  I do research.  Though, I have to say, the last few primary elections, my vote has pretty much been lost in the system.  It really didn't count much.  But I did cast my vote for who I thought was the best candidate.  That person may not ever know who gave him that one vote, but I know.   Hopefully he knows that at least one person was listening to him and liked what he had to say and didn't go with the popular vote.

My vote this year....next year!!... is really a hard one for me.  I am torn for really the first time in my adult, voting life.  I do have issues and I do see things from a different prospective and I do want to see some change and I do want to see tolerance and acceptance.

My parents and most of my grandparents were democrat.   Though, I regretfully announce that not of a lot of them ever used their constitutional right.  I don't remember ever seeing my mother or father vote.  Of course, they had opinions about how things were run; but the older the got and the more I understood, I realized their bitch meant absolutely nothing.  You cannot complain about something you did nothing to fix.  You cannot take credit for something you did not support. If you did not cast your vote, being either for or against, you cannot be responsible nor feckless in what has happened.  You literally had no say in the action.  Your complaint, your bitching, your disgust fall on deaf ears.  If you did nothing, I don't want to hear from you.

I am a Christian.  I am a woman, middle-aged - thank you very much.  I am middle class.  I pay taxes.  I work.  According to my state statistics, my family household earns above median income.  I am not a 1%er.  I own property.  I vote -- every single time.  In my state, I am not in the majority.  I am mostly conservative, with a few steps to the left.  I am Republican; card carrying.

My issues for the next election include, but are not limited to, marriage equality, border issues, abortion, health care, the national debt, war/peace, welfare, gun control.  I will not go into my stance on all of these subjects, not today anyway.

I will say this -- I have a gay son.  I want him to love and to marry as he wishes.  I don't want anyone to stand in his way.  I will fight for his right to do so.  I will fight for his right to adopt children as he and his (future) husband see fit.  I will fight for his right to be noticed as a citizen of the United States, not some second-class no one.  He is equal.  He is equal to me.  He is equal to you.  His life matters.  It should not just matter to me, it really should matter to you as well.  If some elected county clerk (I really, really have a lot to say on this subject, but it just angers me to very much, I cannot even talk about it without my heart just racing) refuses to give my son a marriage license because of who he is marrying, the elected official is not doing their job and should be released - immediately.  I really don't care what side of the marriage equality issue you are on - you should ask for any ones resignation, or demand it, if they are not following the laws of the land.

• Do I particularly like going 55MPH?  No, I don't.  Do I always go 55MPH?  No, I don't.  Am I subject to a fine if found guilty of not going 55MPH?  Yes.  Does this change if I am a man or a woman?  It better not.   Can I be angry if I am fined?  Oh yes, I can and will be.  Will I go 55MPH from now on?  I would like to think I would really try.  Can I do anything about the speed limit?  Not really, I can just obey the law. 
• Do I like to shop?   Very much so!  Do I like to pay $150 for a pair of shoes?  Ummmmm...no.  Do I ever put said shoes into my purse without paying for them?  Ummmmm...no.  If I did,  could I be subject to jail time?  Yes!  Can I do anything about loving and wanting $150 shoes?  No.  Can I do anything about not spending time in jail?  Yes I can, I can obey the law. 

If you don't like the fact that gays are equal and can marry, do something about it.  But don't refuse service for my son or others just like him.  Again, I cannot reiterate enough how much I feel every single American should feel this way, I don't care how you feel about gay marriage - you should respect the law.  You can protest all you want.  You can send money to the county clerk to help with her legal fees.  But, my gosh, you should certainly stand behind America and obey the Constitution.  If you can't do your job -- there are highways going north to Canada and south to Mexico, hop on one.   I have to sometimes work on Sunday.  Do I like it?  Nope.  Can I refuse to do it?  Sure, but I will lose my job.  Can I do anything about it?  Quit and find something else.  Will Mike Huckabee come to a rally and defend my right not to work on a Sunday?  LOL -- I don't think so.  Okay, off my soap box now. 

The only other thing I will say will be about gun control.  I am a gun owner. I legally possess guns.  They are registered in the State of California.  They have been obtained legally.  I follow the rules of owning a gun.  My husband makes sure I am confident in firing my weapon and he makes sure that I know the safety rules and regulations and he knows I know how to use it and will.  Does the gang member who is in possession of a gun follow the same rules?  I am pretty much guessing not.  Do there need to be stronger gun control laws?  Probably, but definitely not to those who already follow the rules and live by the laws of the land.  Should the government be able to take my guns?  Only if they can 100% guarantee they get every single other gun off the streets, with no exceptions.  Are there senseless, cruel, terrible murders happening every day to innocent people who happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time?  Yes, my goodness, every day you read about someone who was shot or a group who were shot for no reason at all.  Does this need to stop?  Oh my heavens, yes it needs to stop, it needs to stop tomorrow.  Are taking my legally obtained, fully registered guns the answer?  Absolutely not.  I don't really know what the right answer is here, but something needs to be done and quickly.  And fairly. 

Okay then....there you have my thoughts for the day!  I don't know how I am going to vote in 14 months.  I do know I am really going to listen to what is said and I am really going to weigh the things that I find important and finding the best candidate that fulfills most (I don't think we will every agree 100%) of my biggest issues.  

For those that read to the end....I wish I could give you a prize!!  For those who didn't, I will catch you the next time.  

XOXO