Travel, Football, Birthday, and New Friendships

I wanted to share my experience this weekend.  Bear with me....

Today is Trent's birthday.  We have had a hard year, but he is pretty much back to normal and aside from being a bit on a financial low, we are doing very well.

So last week, I was looking at a ticket app that I often go to so I could try to find something great do to with Trent this last weekend for his birthday.  I ran across some UCLA vs. BYU football tickets at the Rose Bowl in Pasadena.  I thought it would be a great gift for him (and, no lying here, a great get-away for us both) but I could not purchase them without first checking to make sure he was not working and that we wanted to go.  I asked him about it and we talked about it and he said no...at first.  The next day he came to ask if I could still get the tickets.  I looked and I could.  We looked for a hotel room and plans were made.
We left earlyish on Saturday morning, arrived to SoCa in the early afternoon. Checked into our room.  Went to Old Town Pasadena, walked around in the massive heat, BTW!!   Took a shuttle to the Rose Bowl.  Watched a pretty fabulous football game!  It was messy and not pretty and came down to the last few minutes of the game to decide who the winner was going to be.  We stayed until the very last second and just soaked it all up.  We waited in a rather lengthy line to shuttle back to our car, but I gotta say, those Rose Bowl people know how to move a lot of people very quickly.  The rather lengthy line, I am talking like probably 2 miles long!, moved on out.  We were in line for less than 30 minutes before we got to our shuttle.  We got back to our room rather late, especially for people as old as us!!  Slept in a bit on Sunday and did a little sightseeing before heading back up to NorCal.  It was a rather fast and furious trip but so worth it. We got to see a pretty great football game, ate too much crap, didn't drink enough water, talked and laughed.  It was just a great few days.

What I wanted to share is what happened in the middle of all of that....

As I have shared recently, I have kinda changed a bit in my shyness.  I talk with people now.  I even start conversations with people in line.  Well, Trent and I were sitting on a bench outside of the Rose Bowl waiting for the gates to open when an older couple sat down next to us.  They were in their BYU blue.  Trent was wearing just a regular shirt but had on his UCLA cap and I was wearing my Aikman Cowboy jersey.  This couple would have had no idea we were LDS.

I asked the lady, Judi as I later found out, if they were local or if they had come down from Provo.  She answered that they are from Salt Lake City and they had taken a bus down.  Her husband's grandson, Graham Rowley, was playing for BYU, he was #92 and was a defensive lineman.  Trent and Howard talked football for a while.  Later Judi had mentioned that they actually lived in Sandy, Utah.  I told her Trent's brother lived there.  But I didn't know what ward or anything like that.  It became pretty clear from the way we talked that Trent and I are Mormon.  We chatted a bit more.  She was talking about her granddaughter training horses and they talked a bit about how much fun horse racing is.  Even if don't put any money down!  They were talking about being invited to an after race party and how much fun they were having.

At that point, I said something about drinking alcohol and how much clearer they were probably seeing things at that party!  Howard then said that he was drinking...he then said that he really wasn't a member of the church any longer. Judi said that they had a few issues.  I laughed and out of absolutely no where, I said, "Oh yeah, I am familiar with issues with the church.  We have a gay son." (Just a little side note here - this is really the very first time I have ever said those words out loud.  I have shared with friends and family, but never a complete stranger.  I don't really know why it came out -- well, I do actually...read on).

Judi's mouth gaped completely open and she sucked in air and put her hand on her chest and I was ready, actually for a fight.  I was ready to put her and other pretentious Mormons in their place.  Come at me, Judi, is what I was thinking. She reached over and touched my arm and said, "Oh my gosh, you are kidding me?  I have two lesbian daughters."   She went on to explain how she has a daughter who is married to a bishop who has stopped talking with her because of her support of her lesbian daughters.   She talked about the struggles and the hurdles and the fights and the tears.

I explained that Trent was a lifelong member of the church and was struggling a bit.  You know, being taught one thing all of your life and suddenly needing to see things differently.  Immediately, Howard got up and went over to Trent and just started talking with him.  Answering questions.  Judi and I were having our own conversation separately.  I told her I was a Mama Dragon (a group of mostly LDS mothers who have GLBTQ children who help each other out and listen and advise, etc.) and she knew about the group.  She told me her daughter and her partner were raising a child together and how she was really big in SLC Pride. She invited us to join them on October 3 for an Allies Dinner in SLC.  We talked about some of the things our "friends" have said to us.  We talked about blaming ourselves at first and wondering what we did as mothers. I showed her pictures of my children.  We exchanged phone numbers and promised to keep in touch.  It was just amazing.

By the end of our conversation, Judi and hugged and I was just crying.  It was such a blessed experience.  I wish I were more eloquent in my words so that I could explain how my heart felt.  She was just what I needed and Howard was just who Trent needed to talk to, if only for a little while.

There were just so many factors that had to lay out specifically for us to get to the point where we found out our similarities.  It started with a smile and a question.  It ended with a new friendship, new allies, new shoulders to lean on. What an amazing blessing.  What an amazing experience.  You just never know.

"Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous."  ~ Albert Einstein

XOXO