DO. NOT. PULL. OVER

I am still not sure if the time is right to post, but I promised my nephew that I would blog this story...so, here it goes.

My brother, Vernon, and his family, Shelly, Audrey, and Jeremy (JJ), came to California in early August. It was their first time here as a family.

We had all decided to go to a Giants game, although JJ is a huge Rockies fan, he thought that it would be okay to see the Giants this once! We had gotten to San Francisco a bit early that day and we all went to Union Square to shop and eat. We went to the Cheesecake Factory and then went shopping. Shelly and I almost got us some orange flip flops for the Giants game but neither one of us could talk our husbands into spending $250 for them. I know!!! What the heck?!?! While in the mall there, Vernon almost got beat up by two locals. *giggling* Shelly had given Vernon her purse to hold and, of course, my brother made a little comment about carrying the purse. Two gentleman behind Vernon heard this little comment and they decided that they could "take" him. Vernon was scared! He says that he wasn't, but he was. I know this because he ran up to my 6'2", 250-pound husband for protection!

Okay...sorry, got side tracked there. So, after our adventures in the City, we headed to AT&T Park! The Johnson's got all decked out in new Giants gear! The Wood's...well we had old Giants gear! We sat in the stands and cheered for our team.




At some point, we all got garlic fries and chicken strips -- this is going to be important in a minute...

On the drive home, I sat in front with Vernon because I get terribly car sick. Shelly sat behind Vernon, Trent sat behind me. JJ sat behind Trent (this is going to be important in a minute), Audrey sat beside him, and Natalie beside her. It was dark and getting late. About 20 miles or so from home, JJ, sitting all the way in the back, tells his dad that he needs a little air. A little while later, he makes the comment that when they go to Six Flags in a few days that he is not sure he is going to be feeling well enough to ride the roller coasters (do you see where this is going?!?!). Shelly told him that they were not tomorrow because we all were going back to SF to the pier for more sightseeing, so she was sure that he would be feeling better by then. All was quiet....too quiet.

We make the last turn to my house...we are less than a mile from my house...only about 4 blocks from my house...all of a sudden...Jeremy pukes!!!!! *okay, I can't help it, I am laughing here, right here in my chair*

Audrey screams, "OH MY GOSH...JEREMY THREW UP!" Jumping into Natalie's lap. Natalie screams, "I AM GOING TO PUKE!!" Trying to claw her way to a door. Shelly rolls down the window, sticks her head out like my Retriever and yells, "JEREMY JUST BLEW CHUNKS!!" Trent is checking the back of his head for residual material. I, not knowing this car, cannot find the window roller down button. Vernon starts to pull over. (Now, realize, this all took place in about 15 seconds). I yell to Vernon, "DON'T PULL OVER." He looks at me and yet continues to pull to the side of the road. I yell again, "VERNON, WE ARE ONE BLOCK FROM MY HOUSE. DO. NOT. PULL. OVER!!" He drives about 3 seconds on the road and then starts to pull over again. I again tell him my house is "RIGHT THERE!!!!" I yell pointing. I also start gagging (If you may recall from previous posts, I have a very weak gag reflex. Smells, even talking about gross things, make me gag.) really bad and tell Vernon to "DRIVE!!!" He looks at me and yells, "VELVET, I WILL NOT CLEAN UP AFTER YOU!" To which I reply that he better move his @$$ then! There is so much yelling going on in the back and the smell....oh my gosh, the smell!!!! A very quiet JJ says, "Sorry guys."

Vernon finally pulls up into my driveway...I open the door and run to the lawn, gagging my lungs out trying not to throw up. Shelly and Trent open their doors and get the heck out so fast, they almost trip. Audrey and Natalie fly out of the very back seat! Jeremy is told not to move! I open the garage door and run into the house...I am not going to make it to the bathroom!!! Finally, everyone in the house, except for JJ, we all calm down and get our composure. Vernon looks at me and says, "I am going to need a trash bag and a whole roll of paper towels." ROFL!!!!!!!!

So...the worst part of the story (beside the smell in the car the next few days) is that the Wood's may never enjoy garlic fries at a Giants game ever again!

PS --- an upside... Jeremy apparently chews his food very, very well, according to Vernon!