Part One...

Well...it has only been like a whole year since I posted, so I thought I would share a little bit with you!

My kiddo asked if I was going to write a blog post about my experience in being a living kidney donor.  I thought about it and asked my brother-in-law, Russell, the recipient, what he thought and he was in favor of the idea.  I can't tell his story, but I can tell you my little part in it.

Just a little note here - I am still recovering from the procedure, so this has been written in phases.  I have tried to make it flow, but if there are steps or jumps that happen, this is the reason.

So, I really have no idea where to start -- the beginning I guess.

In May 1968 ... What?   Oh...not that beginning.... Okay!

I will start in April of 2017.  This is the month that both of my brothers-in-law, Russ and Bruce, came to visit Trenty and I in Las Vegas.  Along with their beautiful wives, of course.  It was at this visit that Russ had confided a bit with Trent and I and had told us he was having "some" kidney problems.  He talked of an incident at school (he's a teacher at UofU) that was concerning, but then said that he was doing better.  He really didn't make it seem like a huge big deal.  But, later we found it, it really was a big deal.  Ilene, Russ's wife, said they were simply in denial at that time and really could not bring themselves to say he had kidney failure and needed a kidney.

So, let's jump to about June of 2017.  Trent gets a call from his sister and asked how Russ was in April when he visited us.  Trent told her that he seemed fine, why?  She stated at that time that Russ was in need of a kidney.  We were shocked, really!  Both Trent and I thought back on our conversations with Russ and Ilene from their visit, and we could not really think of any clues they had given that he was in that kind of trouble.  It appeared that Russ had been on dialysis for a few months and was in search of a donor.  His children and their wives all went through the donation process and were eliminated for one reason or another.  His wife, Ilene, was not a terribly good match, but they were going to go ahead and use her kidney because it was the best option they had.  Though, not being an exact match, would mean extra treatment before and after for Russ and the outlook was not as favorable.

Trent said that he wanted to donate his kidney.  I immediately said, "Absolutely Not!!!"  Not with all the trouble Trent had just a few years ago.  I could not watch my husband go through another hospital stint and another recovery. Besides, as it turned out, he would have been eliminated as a candidate right from the start.  So, we talked about it a bit and I went on my own to think about it.  Later that day, I went to Trent and I said I wanted to see if I could donate.  He was shocked, I think.  But he said that Russ was in trouble and if this was something I thought I could do, well then I should.  I talked with my children about it as well, before coming to the final decision, and they were both okay with it as well.  I thought a little more about it and prayed about it and I felt this was the right decision.  So, I asked Trent to text Russ and get the information on how I could become a living donor.

A side note here - Trent told me at that time that if I went through with this, he knew in his heart I would be a match and that I would donate.  He just knew.

Russ, shocked!, sent us the information.  I waited a day or two, just to make sure it still felt right.  I went to the online site and put in my information.  I got a call back shortly after (I cannot remember the time line here) and we started the process.  This was in July 2017.

The process starts off with a questionnaire.  In this, you are asked what health conditions you have, what health conditions are in your family, what medications you take, and a few other health-related things.  The first question that eliminates most people is high blood pressure.  If you have any kind of any kind of HBP, you are out.   I sailed through this first part with flying colors!!  Next steps were blood/urine tests.

The first step was, of course, to find out my blood type and if it was compatible with Russ's.  We, remarkably, have the exact same blood type.  Onto the next step.  The next two steps were all kinds of blood work for compatibility and antigens and antibodies and diseases and counts and....it just goes on and on!  There was a small problem with my WBC in that at one point it appeared I had a bit of an infection (I had a root canal that messed with my numbers) and that my eosinophils were elevated (I have TERRIBLE allergies).  So, once these  were figured out and cleared with the physicians, I had to undergo some personal health tests to find out if I was healthy enough physically.  I underwent a routine woman health evaluation.  In this testing, my mammogram came back with some abnormalities -- but it always does!  I had to undergo a sonogram and a magnified mammogram.  These finally came back okay and showed normal dense tissue findings.  Finally...we were ready to move on.

Okay, so not to make it sound like such a cake walk... I started testing in July and my last testing was finally done in late October.  It was not a process which can be done in a day or two, nor a month or two.  It was a lot of testing and a lot of waiting.  This was one of the reasons we didn't tell people what was going on.  The process was long and at any time, I could have been eliminated for any reason.  Trent and I just felt it was best to keep this just between us, our children, and Russ.  I did eventually tell my family as we got closer and I did have one really terrific friend who talked me down a few times through the process that knew earlier on.

On a side note here, Russ and I were really not allowed to talk.  It was against the "rules."  It makes sense, in that I wasn't to feel any pressure, but then again, he is my family and it seemed stupid that we were not talking about all of this.  I would text Ilene on occasion just to keep her up-to-date on where I was in the process.  I felt it was important for them to know I was still continuing on.  His physicians were not allowed to really tell them anything about me or my process; just that there was a healthy, compatible donor in the testing process.  Trent would occasionally text Russ and tell him the same.  Also, I think it is important to mention here that Every. Single. Message. from Russ or Ilene to either Trent or I included the phrase, "Of course, if this doesn't feel right at any point, you can back out.  There will be no hard feelings."  Or something of that sort.

So...now we are to late October 2017.  At this point, things were at almost a stop.  All the testing had been done, so there was a bit of a stall.  At this point, I found out the Russ was dropped to Category 7, from Category 1, from UNOS, because he had a potential living donor.  This freaked me the heck out!!  I was like...if this is the case, we need to hurry the hell up!  I can't be the one responsible for him losing a kidney donation from a deceased donor.  At this point, Trent said it was ridiculous that we could not have any contact; he felt that the initially process was complete and that we could, should, be talking with Russ and Ilene. He called Russ and broke the rules!!!  Together, we got the ball rolling!

I had to travel to Salt Lake City in late October for an examination by the clinic.  This whole time, I was doing the testing in Las Vegas and they were sending the results to SLC.  So, it was time that they do an evaluation.  So, I flew alone to SLC for this evaluation.  This was a 2-day process.  I had to get blood work done, radiological testing done, EKGs, and a psych evaluation (I was worried about that one!!).  There was not a moments rest in those two days!  I stayed with Russ and Ilene..so the whole "no contact" thing was blown out the window!  On the day I was flying home, I got a call stating that there was a problem with my liver.  I had to do one last test on my way out of town to test the liver.

Then the wait.  Yeah, I know, you would have thought that the whole 4 months was the wait.  But, no!  The wait was for the board to evaluate the case and to decide if this was a go or not.  The board meets on Thursdays, so we had to wait.  The first Thursday rolled around and no call.   I waited patiently (ha ha ha).  I finally called my nurse in SLC to find out what had happened.  Did we get approved?  Declined?  She said our case was not reviewed.  Oh my gosh...are you kidding me!!!!  The next Monday the nurse called and said there was still an issue with my liver and told me I needed to go to St. George for further testing.  We finally worked this all out and we were on, again, to the board.

WE GOT THE GO AHEAD!!!!  Now, let us schedule a date and let that date be soon!!

Through various hiccups and scheduling problems, we were finally put on the surgery schedule for November 21!  Yeah, two days before thanksgiving.  I had to go to SLC the week before for preoperative work (it really was a never ending testing story).  Trent and I drove to SLC.  We had a wonderful, wonderful family gathering on Sunday.  Russ has the biggest, bestest family ever.  Including us, there were 29 people at their house that Sunday.  It was really a great time.  I got to see family I haven't seen in a long time and I got to meet new family members!  There were six (6!!) desserts!  I know!!  The meal was spectacular but the company was even better.  I went to do my testing the next day and Trent and I returned home.  I had to get the M&Ms a caregiver (LOL) and get that scheduled and I had to get the house ready and clean and I had to prepare, mentally, for what was going to happen....

I think I will stop here and continue on another post for the surgery.  Stay tuned!!!



XOXO

Grandmama's hands

The other day I wore my grandmama's ring which was willed to me.  I don't often wear it, but sometimes it is the perfect accessory.

When I was wearing her ring, I was thinking about her and what she would be thinking of the situation.  I sometimes chuckled to myself because I am sure some of her comments would have been quite colorful!

The one thing that I noticed that made me sad was that my hands do not look anything like hers.  I remember her wearing the ring almost everyday of my life and I can remember holding onto her hand and looking at the ring.  I have a mental image, but not a physical one.  I wish I had a photo of just her hand. Maybe it sounds weird, but I would like to see the details that are fading in my memory.  In my youth, I wish I would have been more thoughtful and thought a bit of the future without Grandmama and maybe snapped a picture of her hand, maybe even a picture of her hand holding mine.  And, ultimately, I wish I had a picture of her hand holding my mom's hand, holding my hand, holding Natalie's hand.

We take pictures now (thank you smart phones) of every detail of our lives!  What we had for dinner, the moon, the sunset....  But some of the more important things are only in our memories.

Bonded by Boobs

Okay...stay with me a minute!

Last year, on 09/12/15 to be exact, I joined a wonderful group of woman who knit for charity.  We knit (and those that can, crochet) breast forms for women who have had a mastectomy(ies) for whatever reason.  The organization is called Awesome Breastforms because... well because they are pretty awesome!  The wonderful group of women who came up with this group and developed patterns have revised the patterns numerous times, only trying to make them better.  They test and evaluate and color check the yarns that are used and only let the very best ones go through!  They have checked fillers and stuffings, and again, only let the very best ones go through.

In this charity group, I am required to knit at least one form every 60 days to remain current.   I am required to purchase only approved yarn and approved filling for the forms.  I am required to pay for postage, including the box and packing materials, on my own.  I buy business cards and print out care instructions which go with every order.  All this is done at my expense.  It may sound like a lot, but really, the rewards of being with such a group far outweigh any expense!

I will get back to the group with information in a minute...but first I wanted to explain "Bonded by Boobs."

In March of this year, I was contacted by one of the administrators of the group to see if I wanted to be a mentor or helper as they call it.  I was thrilled!  I have only been knitting like 5 years and barely feel qualified to knit for family much less mentor much more experienced and way better knitters than I.  I thought about it for like 63 seconds and then said, "YES!!!"  It is hard being a helper sometimes, you have to critique other's work and tell them what needs to be changed or knitting a bit tighter or making the forms a bit rounder...the list goes on and on.   I answer numerous questions about the group and about the forms and about system of obtaining orders and sending orders.  I know..it sounds like a lot, but really it's not!

During this process, I have mentored a few women.  A few have graduated and a few have left and decided to give it another go at a later date.    It is not an easy group to get into and you have to be committed; sometimes that is just a little more for women who have smaller children or full times jobs can do.  No judgement...I get it.  I certainly would not have been able to be a part of this group when my children were home.

In the process of mentoring, there are a LOT of private messaging on Facebook going on!  They ask a question, I answer it.  They send a picture of a measurement, we discuss why or why not this will work.  They send a picture of the finished form and we discuss what needs to be done to make it an Awesome Breastform!  Then it goes to QA who have a say...sometimes they say something is not quite right and it is back to the drawing board.  Sometimes they give two thumbs up and then the real fun begins!

After my helpee has graduated and is accepting offers, they are pretty much on their own.  They certainly don't need me anymore.  I offer to be available for questions or concerns or whatever, but really at this point our relationship as helpee/helper has come to an end.

Or has it?!?  I can honestly say that more often than not, I have become friends with these women!  I mean, like real friends.  One of these women had surgery and I really worried about her and worried about how she was coming along. One (or two!!) of them is a dog lover and we discuss our fur babies.  One of them has a cop in the family...we have chatted about that!   One of them feels like a sista from another mista who only buys cheap yarn and we are only separated by miles!  I can't even begin to express what each of these women mean to me.  I love it when I get a message from them - about boobs or about something else!  I love keeping in contact with them and seeing them in their real lives yet knowing how wonderful each and every one of them is by knitting forms for women who just want their curves back!  We have definitely been bonded by boobs (BTW, stole this from one of my friends) and this swells my heart with such love!

And...I cannot even say enough of the women who run the group.  Taking orders, giving out orders, making sure we have the information on our order, making sure they have been sent out in a timely manner, getting us business cards, sharing information about what is working best, what isn't, answering numerous questions, keeping anonymity of those who order, developing customized forms for those who need it, developing patterns for women who need swim forms, revising patterns to make them better, keeping track of who's who, doing QA on all forms going out, sending everyone in the group birthday wishes on their birthday, starting secret Santa!, doing fun contests, making sample packs for doctors offices/hospitals, keeping up the website, keeping up the groups on Facebook...the list is really endless on what these fine women do! I don't know how they do it all!  Really?!?  I can barely run one household and knit boobs one order at a time.  They are blessed by what they do and by what they have accomplished and those of us in the group are blessed by them!

So..now the important stuff.  If you know someone or are someone in need of Awesome Breastforms (absolutely free of charge!! No shipping charges, nothing!!)  or if you would like to volunteer your time and your wonderful talent to this wonderful group (we will start accepting new recruits again in January, taking time off for the holidays!), please visit their site: http://awesomebreastforms.org/   You too can be part of an awesome group with awesome organizers and awesome helpers (if I do say so myself!) and become awesome friends and give awesome women back their curves and become Bonded by Boobs!

XOXO

PS:  Here are some of my boobs:

Two Things....

I love about my husband's birthday!

Today, my husband is growing another year older!  Happy birthday to my wonderful man!

Yesterday we talked a bit about his birthday and he stated that he hated when his birthday rolled around (I cannot even imagine being that old!!).  I, on the other hand, am very grateful for it.  I honestly think that his last two birthdays have been a gift to me.  Last year, Trenty was sooooooo sick, I wondered if he would even see another birthday.  After being in the hospital, on and off, for 6+ months, being fed through a nasogastric tube which failed and then having to be on total parenteral nutrition (TPN) for months, losing 90 pounds, being on constant pain medications, and losing all will to go on another day, he survived.  Today, his 54th birthday, is proof of that.  Frankly, I love this day and I hope I am able to continue to celebrate it with him for years and years to come.  Call me selfish...but I love Trenty's birthday because it means he is here, with me.  It is a gift, for me.

The second thing I love about his birthday.... he is officially six (6) years older than me again!  May through September are rough months!

I love you, Trenty, with my whole heart.  I used to think my heart beats for you, but in fact, my heart beats with you. Without you....I cannot even imagine....

XOXO

Two Things...

...I miss from my childhood.

This post could actually be entitled, "One Hundred and Two things..."  I think as adults we miss most things about our childhoods.  I miss not being responsible for the food on the table or the roof over my head.  I miss not knowing what bills were due.  I miss being footloose and fancy free!

But the two things I was thinking of I just had a dream about.  Weird, I know!!

The first thing I miss is my Tinker Toys!  Man, could I build with those things!  I came up with many different creations.  Things that would swing wide and hang low.  I would make things that were so stationary even the dog could not knock them over!  I would make things to crawl through or specifically not to crawl through!  I made Barbie some wonderful houses and Ken a great condo!  I would make things that would stay up for days and others that would come down right away.  I remember sometimes never having enough to finish the things I would imagine.  I also remember a distinct smell -- probably the lead paint!

The second thing I miss is my Spirograph!  Man, could I draw with that thing!  I, of course, had the "Deluxe" set with different shapes, so not all of my wonderful art on the fridge was just in a circle.  I would use two different size rings and make like the best drawing ever created!  Sometimes I would try to make the same thing twice...I don't think I ever did, I don't think I ever could.  I remember there were some really hard ones, the gears just wouldn't line up perfectly and it was a struggle to get around the frame!  Or...that dreadful -- slip! Yikes, nothing looked worse than that ugly pen mark going all willy nilly through what could have been the next Mona Lisa...if only.

Don't get me wrong...I also loved my Lite Brite and my Barbies and my electric football game and my Easy Bake Oven -- but for today, the two things on my mind are Tinker Toys and Spirograph.

I could have been an amazing architect or a famous artist had I only not given it all up for boys!

XOXO