Addendum:

I had someone send me an E-mail about my last post...this is what they said --

"You wrote on your blog recently a question relating to strength of body or strength of mind and whether you had to have one to have the other. Speaking from my own experiences, the answer I have learned is you can’t have one without the other. Eventually, something will come along and hit the weaker of the two and you just won’t be able to handle it if you’re not strong and things will crumble all around you. However, the real strength in someone comes not from being able to endure the hit, but being able to pick up the pieces and move on afterward, not throwing in the towel, and hopefully with more wisdom than before. And that DOES make you stronger. Even if it doesn’t always feel that way."


I thought it was next to perfect and thought I would share.

Strength

I told someone the other day that I felt they were very strong; I actually said that this person was a very strong woman. She replied as to how she indeed was not strong. This got me thinking about strength. How strong do we have to be to get through things? Is it true that our Heavenly Father will not give us something that we cannot handle? When we feel like we cannot go one more step, is it the physical strength or the mental strength that pulls us through? How much physical abuse can one take before their body breaks? How much mental abuse can one take? Do you have to be strong physically to be strong mentally? Vice versa? Can one obtain physical strength? What about mentally? Can one learn to be stronger? Do our situations make us stronger or does our strength make our situations harder? When we finally throw in the towel and say that we cannot go any further, is this a sign of weakness or is it a testament of our strength?

People must look at strength differently. I have been told how strong I am; it makes me wonder, really, how well people know me. Does being strong willed constitute as strength? I don't think so. I think one has to find that inner strength though, that thing that really pushes us. You know, we have all heard of the mother who could lift a car off her toddler to save his life...outer strength. But, somewhere, deep inside, she had to know that she had to do it, she had to have the mind over matter. She could not for one instant second guess herself. She had to know she could and not even think about it. So, even though she had the outer strength to lift the car, she had the inner strength, or the mental strength if you will, to accomplish the task.

I have never been asked to lift a car off my child (thank heavens) but it seems like some of the things I have done on a mental capacity almost equals to that outer strength. I think I have failed more than I have succeeded. Physical strength can be observed -- look at all the wrestlers and the weightlifters, obviously you can see the outer, physical strength. But the inner, mental strength is subjective. Are we given tests to make us stronger or are we stronger because of our tests? Is not having strength, mental strength, a sign of weakness? You might think you know how strong a person is, but do you? Do you even really know how strong you are?

Maggie May

This is my new sweet baby girl, Maggie May. She was born on 10/11/09 (ummmmmm, sounds familiar!). So, she was just 9 weeks old yesterday. She is a big furry ball of terror on four legs! She has destroyed my Christmas tree, chewed my fingers almost off, and decided that electrical outlets are NOT her friend!! On the other hand, she has decided that her most favorite place to take a nap is either on top of my feet while I am working or sleeping right next to me on the big king-sized bed upstairs laying as close as she can get, sometimes even putting her head on my shoulder! When I call her, she will come bouncing up to me and if I don't reach down and give her the attention she thinks she deserves, she will very loudly tell me! She will walk up to my office chair and put her little (NOT!) paw on my leg and want me to pick her up so she can nappy on my lappy! She already is pretty much house broken; she knows how to use the doggy door but has to be reminded that sometimes she needs to potty. She knows who Mama is and will come running up to me when I tell her Mama needs Maggie!!

My friend made the observation that getting a new car or going to Hawaii did not pull me out of my depressive little funk, she wondered if Maggie was going to. I guess time will tell. Maggie has definitely filled a little hole in my heart that Cookie left. I fell in love with her at first site and I don't even mind the puppy kisses!

Oh...I should tell the story of how I got her...So, I have been looking for a lab puppy for some time now, but it was just never the right time or whatever. Natalie and I have gone to look at puppies and have always walked away empty handed; I guess it was just not the right time. So, last Saturday (12/05) I had read an ad in the local paper of puppies. Natalie and I had had a big day of shopping and were ready to head home and I decided to go ahead and call on the puppies. I did, liked the lady on the phone very much, so we got the address and drove to Galt! On the way there, I told Natalie I had a feeling - Nattie concurred that she had the same feeling! We walked in and there were 5 puppies left (a litter of 11), 3 females and 2 males. Little Maggie latched onto my shoe string and would not let go. I would pick her up and hold her a minute and then go to the next puppy trying to find the one that would come home with us. I would walk around the backyard looking at the other puppies, but Maggie stayed in between my feet the whole time! I moved, she moved. After a few minutes, actually like about 15 to 20 minutes, I asked Natalie what she thought, she said she wanted them all! I felt like I really had no choice but to take the one that had been at my feet the entire time I was there! She was, however, the cutest one anyway!!

I signed the check and we drove home...but first we had to make a pit stop at PetCo (where the pets go) to get a few supplies. She was a hit in a store. Natalie asked when/what/how I was going to tell Trent...I told her I would wait until the morning when he got home from work and introduce them -- I felt as soon as he saw her, he would love her as much as I did (this was so true). Besides...he had been asking what to get me for Christmas, I just helped him out!

We get home and introduce Maggie to Sissy which was uneventful (Yay). We put the Christmas tree up and decorated the downstairs. Trent called...oh no! He asked what in the heck I had spent over $100 at PetCo (where the pets go) on. Being I have a strict policy in lying...I told the truth. I said that I had to go get stuff for my new puppy. He said, and I quote, "You better not had gotten a new puppy!" I said I had and I told him how cute she was and how much I loved her. He was like..no you didn't. I was like, yes I did! The next morning he comes in and says, I want to see the new puppy -- he fell in love with her! Good thing!

So, there you have it. The story of how my sweet baby girl Maggie joined my family!

The things I am thankful for

I have been waiting to write this particular blog for a few weeks, letting it get just a bit closer to Thanksgiving, however, the time has come that I must share as my heart is full.

The biggest thing I am most thankful for is my family:
My loving husband who loves me despite myself, who puts up with my moods and my idiosyncrasies, who always lets me pick the movie for date night (even if he truly does not want to watch it), and who usually lets me win (whether it be a game or an argument). I have loved him for 21 years and am amazed as to how much this grows daily.

My wonderful children. This year has been a really rough one concerning my kids. We, being the strong family we are, have worked through all of this and have found new faith and have actually built a stronger family unit. I would not be half the woman I am without my children. They are me as I am them. I would give my life for them. I would protect them to the end. I will not, under any circumstances, let people speak untruths about them or hurt them unjustly in any way. I will forever forgive them for anything they do. I will never not speak to them or push them out of my life. Garrick, my son, my first born, I love you. Natalie, my daughter, my sweet baby girl, I love you.

The rest of the family! This year has been a pretty good year as far as the rest of the family is concerned. I have reconnected with family who I love, who I lost years and years ago. Cousins who I thought wanted nothing or little to do with me or my family. My heart rejoices with thoughts of my extended family. I have smiled and cried all in the same setting. I have thought back to my youth and have felt young again. I have discovered that 20+ years lost can be made up in a heartbeat with memories that can last for a lifetime. My parents and brother and his family are truly people that I know I cannot live without in my life. Though there may not always be agreement among us, there is always an underlying love. Coming from a smaller family, I am so very thankful for my husband's larger one! I have brothers and sisters and nieces and nephews and great-nieces and great-nephews who I have truly come to love as my family. I am just but a small branch on the tree of family.

My dear friends. This year has been rather hard and I have, for the first time ever, grown to rely on friends. I have put trust in people which has not been easy for me. I have laughed with them, cried with them, been their strength when they needed me, and I have let them carry me when I needed them. Abraham Lincoln once said, "The better part of one's life consists of his friendships." If my friends are any indication of wealth, I am indeed rich beyond compare.

The list could go on and on and on. I have a roof over my head and food on my table. I have the knowledge of life hereafter and faith. My husband has the means to support his family. I have the ability to see my children grow and love. I live in a country that is free. I sleep in a warm bed at night. There are certainly more gifts in my life than I even knew possible. Some might say that the grass is always greener...but, those are the people who don't take the time to look around and love and appreciate those things and those people who are within reach. I am truly blessed.

Changes

Fall is here in California! The leaves are finally starting to turn, the air is starting to cool, and, of course, football is on my television! The difference between Fall here and other places, is that this will only last a few weeks and then Winter will settle in. In about March or April, Spring will pop in to say hello, but, again, only for a few weeks, and then here comes Summer. So, in California, there are really only two seasons with just a few weeks in between of my favorite seasons.

When we moved to California in 2001, I remember this time of year and wondering when winter was going to come. I remember my family just laughing and laughing at the Californians who had the big, heavy winter coats on, scarfs, gloves, big ol' boots!! We has just moved from New Mexico where, yes my friends, it snows and it gets very, very cold. We laughed because we would walk outdoors with merely a sweatshirt on and were actually just fine. Winter here was like Fall in NM. So...the next year rolls around -- We have now been in California for a year. We still refuse to have the big, winter coats, but it does appear a bit colder than it was the year before. So, lets jump ahead to last year...I was FREEZING!! It was only November and I could not remember ever being as cold as I was then! Trent bought me...I can barely bring myself to say it...a big, ol', heavy winter coat!!! I really have not had the opportunity to use it yet this year (its faux fur and I love, love, love it!!) but is it ready for use. I also have the new scarf and am looking for the perfect gloves. The boots...well, duh, of course I will get new boots (November shoes!!) but they will be fashion forward and probably not too comfortable!

I am welcoming Fall with open arms. I love the different colors of leaves on the trees and when the wind blows, I quite enjoy seeing the leaves fly around! My oranges (I still cannot believe that I have oranges and no lemons...makes my heart really hurt! I am definitely going to try lemons again!)are green and starting to make the turn to orange. I love getting the winter clothes out from last year and putting on a bulky sweater for the first time. I love climbing into my bed which the electric blanket has been turned on for a few minutes and the sheets are just hot enough to warm my legs as I settle in for the night. I love Christmas shopping for my family and friends and am thrilled beyond belief when I come across that perfect gift. I love Thanksgiving dinner - I just wish my mom was here, or I was there, for her to cook it! I love to see the trees lose their leaves and the grass to lose its life if only to be reborn again in the Spring.

Yes, yes indeed, Fall is one of my favorite times of the year. I shall enjoy it while it lasts.