Those Moments

You know, I think every person in their lives have those moments.  Those special moments where you know you are going to remember this for the rest of your life.  Good moments...bad moments.

Some moments have deep impacts on us.  Some, we can look back on and just laugh and laugh.  Some, cry and cry.  Perhaps, some we wonder why this is happening to us.  Some so great we want to close our eyes and relive them over and over again.  Some so very terrible, we wonder if we can ever forget them.

The birth of my children are two of those events.  I wish I could relive them again.  I wish I could remember exactly every single minute.  I can't.  I can remember how scared I was with Garrick and the emergency Cesarean section.  I can remember the details of finding out I was in trouble, my baby was in trouble, being wheeled down the hall whilst catheters and IVs were being pushed into my body.  Waiting in the operating room for the surgeon; trying not to push...I could go on and on...*smiling* It was a great moment, in retrospect.  The one thing with Garrick that I can look back on laugh about is how he looked 3 months old in the baby nursery.  Those little 6 pounders!  Yeah, right!  I remember with Natalie is was easy and smooth.  There was no anxiety, no rush.  It was a perfect planned Cesarean section.  It snowed like half a foot the night she was born, the hospital was kind of shut down, no one was lurking around, the staff was like on half staff.  It was quiet.  Me and my precious baby girl were in my hospital bed and I was telling her how wonderful she was and how good of friends we were going to be.  I could write 1000 pages of the births of my babies.  Special moments that I hope I never forget.

I remember that terrible moment when my mom called and told me my dad had had a heart attack.  I remember being with my friend who had just lost her son and thinking no, no, no please let my daddy be okay.  I remember talking with people that day and being told everything would be okay.  I remember the exact moment my mom called back and told me they were air lifting him to Albuquerque.  Then the next call telling me he was too bad to make the trip. Then, the last call telling me he had died.  I wish I could forget that day. Everything about it.

There are special events like getting married and my children's graduations.  My brother's wedding.  When my grandmother died.  When we bought our first house.  When my son rode his bike for the first time.  When my daughter played basketball and called herself "Natalie Michael Jordan Wood!!"  When Sarah Smyle was hit by a car and died.  When we moved from New Mexico to California.

There are moments when someone has said something to me that has hurt me beyond anything I have ever known.  Almost ripped my heart right out.  Whether intentionally or just by letting something slip.  Words hurt, deep.  Being told I had an agenda or I was stupid or poor or ugly.  Or a bad mother.  Certainly moments I wish I could forget.

We all have those moments.  The good, the bad, and the ugly.  Moments we want to remember forever...moments we wish we could forget.  Maybe even moments we wish we could have back and do them differently.

I hope to have many, many more moments with the people I love.  I hope 95% of them are so wonderful I never want to forget them.  I would have asked for 100%, but no one can have that perfect of the life...or can I?

XOXO