I would walk all the way to Heaven and bring you back again.

I think of you often
and make no outward show,
but what it means to lose you,
no one will ever know.
You wished no one farewell,
not even said good-bye,
you were gone before I knew it,
and only God knows why.
You are not forgotten
nor will you ever be,
as long as life and memories last,
I will remember thee.
To some you may be forgotten,
to others a part of the past,
but to me who loved you dearly,
your memories will always last.
Nothing can be more beautiful
than the memories I have of you.
To me, you were someone special,
God must have thought so too!
If tears could build a staircase
and memories a lane,
I would walk all the way to Heaven,
and bring you back again.
-Anon.

It is the start of a new holiday season and I only think of my Daddy and how much I miss him.  I miss his calls and the way he would say, "Hey, hey Velvet..." in that southern drawl of his. No one really knows the amount of tears that I have shed and continue to cry over him.  My aunt told me that the first year was the hardest; well, the second is not very much better. There are so many things going on in my life that I wish I could just call him up and tell him.  There are things that I am sure only he would understand.  He would not be happy or proud of me, of this I am sure, but he would be understanding and love without condition.  He would give his advice without judgement.  He would offer his shoulder for my tears.  He would lead and guide me without really knowing he was.  

Daddy, I miss you.  I wish every day you were here so I could tell you that I love you.  I long for one more minute to be with you, just so I was sure you knew that I have always loved you.  I hate thinking that there may have been a doubt because I did not say it that much.  I hope you knew.  I am making socks for the whole family for Christmas Eve and I think about the socks I would have made him.  I can see him rolling his eyes at me, making fun of my socks, but putting them on and wearing them proudly.  Not a single day goes by, that I don't think about him.  Not a single day goes by that I don't feel him with me.  That one thought brings me much comfort...he may not be with me physically, but I feel him watching over me.  I feel him in my heart. For that, I am thankful.  

XOXO