Cherry Chapstick

Kinda a weird thing happened yesterday.  It is not the first time something like this has happened to me but it is the first time I am sharing it (except with my favorite guy) and it had a little different flavor (!) to it as well. 

I was just done with work and by done, I don't mean finished, I mean DONE!  I had sat at my desk long enough and if I didn't walk away someone's life could be in immediate danger.  So, I walked away.  Like 3 feet.  To my couch.  (Side note:  this is either a tremendous blessing in my life that I work at home or the greatest tragedy, I'm not really sure which; it changes every day.)  I sat down, because my gosh, I haven't sat near enough today!  I reached for my knitting project and before I turned on the television and just after I turned off my radio, there was complete silence.  Maggie wasn't near, so I could not hear her snoring.  Trent was at work.  Natalie was at work.  I was alone.  (Another side note:  A few years ago, I would have had total panic at this; being alone.)  I kinda of marveled in it.  I just sat there, knitting on my lap, breathing deep (thank you yoga), and just not even thinking.  There was not one thought in my head. 

I felt a swoosh of air behind me, I am even pretty sure I felt my hair moved in the breeze.  I looked behind me, but not the startled kind of look like, "Oh my gosh, who is here?!?" but more the curious look around.  There was no one there.  But, for the briefest of moments, not even a second, I smelled Cherry Chapstick.  It was so slight and it happened so fast that I was unsure if it indeed had happened.  I smiled...I knew it had happened. 

I have felt presences previously -- like a brush on my leg or a tap on my shoulder or even just a feeling of knowing someone was there.  This was the first time, however, that I had actually smelled the presence.  Cherry Chapstick. 

I smile now as I sit and type this.  How I miss my daddy putting on his Cherry Chapstick, always in his pocket.  Taking it out every so often to moisten his lips; usually offering a little to me.  The Chapstick container was nearly worn down to nothing.  There was no lettering on it, just a white tube.  I don't know how long he had the same tube, but always in his pocket.  I think, but not entirely sure, always Cherry.  But, even if not always Cherry, Chapstick has a distinct fragrance, a smell that is only associated with Chapstick.  A smell that I associate with my daddy, though I didn't know this until yesterday.  When I felt him and when I could smell his Cherry Chapstick. 

One month from today it will be 4 years that I lost my daddy, unexpectedly and very fast.  I can't hardly believe it has been that long yet it feels like forever since he left us.  I miss him almost every day.  I think about him and of him a lot.  I wonder what he would say about certain situations.  I laugh when I KNOW what he would say! I know that that is the way it is supposed to be; you bury your parents.  But, that does not mean, under any circumstances, that it is an easy thing to do. 

I think I will go buy some Cherry Chapstick. 

XOXO